8/08/08

I gots da fever ya’ll ~ Olympic Fever!!!

Friday night after having dinner at Blockheads with my BFF (best fag forever) Jacob we settled in to watching the opening ceremonies; which were REDONKLOUS! $300 million dollars and a cast of 15,000. Work China! Sure you torture, kill and imprison anyone who goes against your goose stepping asses but bitch you can put on a show. All that was missing was a ballroom death drop and they would have had a vogue battle on their hands. I could have done without the children singing in Greek, I’m not sure why children always find some staring role in the Olympics? Who cares?

Really, it’s about finding the strength in yourself when you have nothing left to keep going until you cross the finish line. Sure future athletes begin as children but that’s about as far as it goes. So children of the world take a time out and watch the grown ups play for awhile, you might learn something.

Right before the ceremonies started we were greeted by the main monetary sponsors for the games which cracks me up: Budweiser, Visa & McDonalds. Beer, Debt and Fast Food the three things that are near and dear to most red state Americans!!! Jacob and I could not stop laughing they are the 3 things biggest things that will keep anyone from even being in the Olympics. It just never stops; the corporate strangle hold on EVERYTHING. It’s as pervasive as high fructose corn syrup which is making us all dumber, and fatter than ever.

Plus, I think I remember when the Athletes had to be amateur, now countries are PAYING them to win medals not to mention the almighty Nike and Speedo dollars that roll in and let’s not forget the professional athletes who already make their living in sports. Listen I’m not saying that they shouldn’t, I’m just saying that things have changed. Athletes (some of who I am sure still do) used to struggle to find the time and money to train. Families went without to try and help their daughter or son fulfill their dreams of standing on a podium to hear the National Anthem on the world wide stage.

Now it seems like countries are in Vegas placing bets on the fastest horse, investing in a winner. They are paying athletes to flip countries to stack their odds; it feels a lot like off tracking betting. Tarnishing the spirit of the ideal that the world stops and puts aside everything else to watch these Olympians call upon their bodies to reach farther, run faster, jump higher and to test the limits of what a human can do. Only to watching Michael Phelps’ Sprint commercial right after he wins another Gold medal kind of takes the pride out of it.

Listen most of them have a time cap on how long they can even compete in their sport, I understand that cashing in during that time is important but I’d rather NOT know about it. Like my denial about high fructose corn syrup, I’d rather not see the painted on endorsement tats on volleyball players or well places logos. Can’t these companies just fund programs that help assist athletes and be happy with the good karma and healthy people they are putting out in the world? Of yeah I forgot corporations don’t believe in karma or healthy humans they believe in the bottom line and remind us to Enjoy Coke.

Brandy is Friday on Thursday.

I’m taking tomorrow off so I won't be able to post my Friday picture on Friday: I like to blog at work to help keep my mind off the fact that I am at work. So kids you get the picture one day early. I decided I deserved a vacation day, coupled with the fact that I partied hard last night, thank you Valerie!! And tonight it's off to Queens to play with Julia, Madeleine & Sarah (a dear friend of theirs from Chicago, who’s here for the Del Close Marathon!!! Let's hear it for the Improv Nation) Plus others who satellite around our friend filled universe. But there does seem to be a focus on me meeting Ms. Sarah. I feel a funny-off in the works. Which thrills me to no end, I love playing, “I'll see that funny and raise you a chortle.” Hours of fun, food, drink and other treats a wait so a vacation day was definitely in order to hasten recovery and reflect on the State of my Union, which is in desperate need of a surge of “Happy Days” in this recession filled climate.

Christ is this what the 70’s were like? No wonder everyone was high and swinging: Waiting in lines at the pump for gas, overpriced food and a feeling of being completely powerless as the country crumbles, sucks. At least this is what I am feeling, could we get to the bouncing back part a little quicker, this election will dictate the economy for sure so let’s hope we ALL make the right choice…..

Obama you Republican f*cktards (my new favorite curse word) is the only ray of sunshine please, please, please bring back those halcyon days of Clinton in the White House. The worst thing that happened was he got a BJ and that’s all we heard about for months. Remember the unending Lewinsky jokes, in fact Jay Leno still throws one in every now and then….hasten thee May 2009 so NBC can retire the chin and bring Conan to the us at a reasonable hour. Now there’s a thought Obama/ O'Brien ’09!!! Now that’s a ticket! Black and Irish the Wasps would just die! We’d be the coolest country in the world again instead of the oil guzzling war monger that makes me embarrassed and less patriotic everyday.

I read an article on the latest production of HAIR that’s currently running in Central Park. They talked to a bunch of people who had seen the original and had come back to maybe relive there Aquarian Summer. This particular exchange about the relevance of the show now in respects to Viet Nam and Iraq wars, really got me thinking:

“In some ways it was very uplifting and in some ways very depressing,” Mr. Darrell Friedman said of the evening’s performance in Central Park, because now there are no protesters in the streets. Gail Furman, who also saw the original, shared his sentiments. “I actually was crying as I was sitting there,” she said. “I was thinking of the young men and women dying in Iraq, and no one is saying anything.”

The government and the media in my mind have kept us from really caring. Remember they used to talk about the soldiers that got killed on the Today Show every morning, talking with their families, who shared their love for their sons and daughters making them tangible REAL people. Now all we get is the ever increasing number. No footage of the bodies coming home, they’ve insulated us from the reality. Pain at the pump is the only thing that people seem to feel. It all just feeds into the powerlessness of not being in control of OUR country. It is ours you know. Not the Republicans not the Democrats, its WE THE PEOPLE, not WE THE PARTY. We used to dump tea and rise up against imperialism. Now it’s come home to roost and we’re making a bloody mess. Ugh, well I’ve run off on a tangent of ten dollar words and ideas.

But that’s why I’m taking tomorrow off….Have a good weekend ya’ll!!
HERE'S FRIDAY ON THURSDAY'S PICTURE OF THE WEEK

In a perfect world can't we just all get along....and saving the planet wouldn't hurt either.

OBSESSED!!

Finally a pop song about kissing girls that I can work out to. Katy Perry is on the rise with her hit, “I kissed a girl and I liked it…” Well that makes two of us. I first saw her on The View of all places. I almost fast forwarded through her performance thinking she was just some new Mandy/Jessica, crap ball. But frankly she was cute in that 40’s pin up girl fashion and kind of looks like Zoey Deschanel, another odd beauty.

What struck me most is how The View ladies reacted to the song. After, they were all giddy (i.e. Sherri & Hasselbutt) they were all lit up inside and dancing and singing the words, then Whoopi outta nowhere walked over and kissed Katy. Just a peck on the lips, then mouthed the word, “I liked it.” I believe lesbionics is poised to take over the world!!!

Finally. See all we needed was the right pop song (t.A.T.u does NOT count) because all we’ve had for years is Melissa screaming about some window and the Indigo Girls who are so 1989.

Obsession takes me “buy” storm I bought the album and the ring tone. So all you ladies who I know, who have kissed a girl, those who dabble and eventually will dabble and most importantly all those I’ve dabbled with, you know what your ring tone is because you know you liked it!!!

TEST: The Musical

The Fringe Festival is starting this weekend. As part of my new "producer" duties I am to attend some shows and get a feel if there is anything "good" out there brewing on the theatre fringe of NYC. However, this is making me stressed. The "guide" to the Fringe and its bounty of shows is a BEAST! I have been instructed by Mr. Bway that I am allowed to attend 5 shows at his expense. And I quote this will be a, "Good chance to test your reasoning/instincts."

I feel sick how am I supposed to use my instincts and decipher what random shows will be good from tiny blurbs in a catalog as thick as my thumb. Especially since the only show that really jumps out at me is: GEM! A Truly Outrageous Parody. Am I a gay man or what?? Clearly my instincts skew gay with jazz hands and glitter.

Ok, I can be objective and I have been in and around theatre almost as long as I've been in Catholic Churches around the world. Shaking Catholicism isn't as easy as it looks people. Those nuns don't like to lose a single girl in saddle shoes and black watch to the East Village.

Like in art I don't know what's good, but I know what I like. I have a serious mind when reviewing shows (staring with or without friends) so I think it’s just picking the right 5. I’m playing Russian roulette for low budget artists with a script and a dream. For the most part I know what Mr. Bway wants and is interested in cultivating. Unfortunately I’m not sure that is exactly what the Fringe has to offer.

Needless to say I hate “tests” I was never a good tester. Story teller, yes, comedian, yes, eternal pan, yes, test taker NO! Just thinking about scan-tron sheets and bubbles gives me cold sweats and hives. I do have a fondness for #2 pencils, but that’s unrelated really.

If any readers of my fair and fine blog have any suggestions I am open. Help me sift through the pages of mediocre shelf indulgence and help me find the GEM (pun totally intended) in the muck.

Next Stop Apocalypse

This weeks Friday picture has the tri-state area in a tizzy. The corpse of a bizarre-looking creature with a dinosaur beak washed up on a Long Island shore this week. When I first saw it my cube mate Louisa Solomon was like, “guys come look at this, we’ve got monsters on the beach,” all of us were like WTF? To me it looks like a baby griffon that never got it’s wings, we also discussed that it was more than likely a sea turtle without it’s shell.

The fact that Gawker.com is reporting that there is a possible government animal testing facility very close by wouldn’t surprise me either. Bush is probably planning the drop the military attack creatures on Iraq before he leaves office. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could be a plausible exit strategy, right?

Whatever it is, I feel sorry for it. Hopefully, they aren’t splicing and dicing animals in a lab somewhere, or people for that matter. Hopefully, it is a sea turtle that lost his home and couldn’t survive without its protection. Hopefully, they won't turn it into the Loch Ness of Long Island and start charging admission, but they probably will….God Bless America!