Wedding #1

So this is me. The world’s biggest flower girl at my friend Megan's wedding. Me, front and center watching the nuptials. Wondering when I am going to get out of this ridiculous outfit which includes Spanx and strappy wedge sandals. It was a beautiful affair and most importantly my dress didn’t fly above my head in spite of the hurricane force winds. I lived. They’re married. Happily Ever After.

A REVALATION!!!

In my ever growing research of the Ballroom World that brought forth the artistry of Vogueing I have stumbled onto Kevin Aviance’s Blog. If you don’t know who he is then get thee to school children http://www.kevinavianceworld.com/

What thrills me more than the jewels of information, wisdom and shear unadulterated “cunty” fierceness is the fact that he and I both have the same Blog wallpaper. See I told you bitches I was a tranny!!

CLEAR THE FLOOR!
WORK – SERVE – TURN

I do, I do. One of Three!

This year my friends have decided to get married.

I have 3 weddings. One in April, One in May and One in June.

I have just returned from the one in April. I spent the last four days in what I like to think of as my Florida Beach Bungalow Paradise. I had what would be a dream apt. by the sea. Private Jacuzzi. Full kitchen. Private Patio. A shower with two amazing shower heads and big enough to host a circuit party, plus a bidet, my first. Leave it to the French to design a shower for your no-no places, or yes-yes depending on the temperature of the water.

Sleeping by the sounds of the sea is better than Ambien. I got rested. Fully, unbelievably rested. Plus there was a wedding, which was nice, the weather could have been better. It was VERY windy on the beach that day. I could barely hear the vows. As the flower girl. Stop laughing. My potpourri quickly turned into petals of death as they didn’t fall gracefully to the ground as more whipped violently into the faces of the bride and groom. Luckily my dress didn't fly above my head, yes I said dress. Stop laughing I was a vision at the reception which was modest and beautiful and a good time was had by all.

I got some sun, ate wonderful food and enjoyed driving again. This time with my NYS driver’s license. My bright blue KIA drove like a dreamy tic-tac. I miss driving. I spent too much money and drank my fill, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So on the bill for next month is a Great Gatsby theme wedding in the Village and NO they are NOT gay.

Fool's Fortune...

Yesterday I pulled off one and only one April Fool’s joke at the expense of my dear friend Madeleine who seems to be getting mentioned a lot in my blog of late. My status message on my Gmail Chat was, Brandy Rowell is making NO more plans until after the wedding. Madeleine asked, “What wedding?” “When?” “What meanest thou?” The following exchange ensued:

me: on the 12th I have to go to Fl. to marry an illegal who is paying me $$$.
Madeleine: i see, because you are ordained? on the internet?
me: no asshat cuz we are both gay and he needs a green card...lol
Madeleine: ahhh, but you see how you have to marry an illegal could be read that way that makes much more and less sense
me: APRIL FOOLS!! I’m going to my friend Megan’s hetero wedding in Fl. Hahaha GOTCHA!
Madeleine: that's a good one not outside the realm of possibility but crazy
me: TOTALLY!! can you imagine me marrying some trannie from Cuba?

Rereading it now it doesn't seem as funny as I remember, guess comedy is all about timing.

More to come Beeches!!!