When I moved into the treehouse my rent was $1,000 a month. Roughly $32.25 a day on an average 31 day month....it's now $1,450 a month which is $46.77 a day. This is only a $14.52 increase over the past seven years.....
This doesn't sound that bad but sounding and paying are two different things.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
10/28/09 - Return of the Wormhole
Brandy Rowell is slowly recovering from a wormhole filled with beautiful funny women, grand marnier, and Irish music. That is about all I have the strength to say regarding last night....
Other than I hope karma bites that asshat who spent $400 of my money after finding my wallet.
I’ll miss my work ID photo the most, that picture made a lot of people laugh…oh well off to the DMV!
Other than I hope karma bites that asshat who spent $400 of my money after finding my wallet.
I’ll miss my work ID photo the most, that picture made a lot of people laugh…oh well off to the DMV!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Brandy Rowell, Inc.
Over the years I have had ideas of what to name my production company. It's definitely a "when" it happens not and "if" it happens notion so I want to be prepared.
Here are the titles & their possible tag lines in the running in no particular order:
3 Legged Dog, Inc.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
If a 3 Legged Dog can greet the day with a smile, so can I!
One leg down, three to go!
Ringer Neck Productions, Inc.
If it doesn't make you crazy, it's probably not worth it!
Virgin Sandbox Kids, Inc.
You might have to get old but you never have to grow up!
Brandylion Gate, Inc.
The pussy who roars!
1 Joke B, Inc.
Never tell a joke twice!
MTH Productions, Inc.
Magic Treehouse Productions, Inc.
Farced Face, Inc.
Bang it, Slam it, Shoot it!
Coward, Porter, Wilde, Williams, Rowell & Dean, LLP
5 Fags & a Hag
Whatever it might end up being, trust it will be witty, & bright just like me and my friends who are beggars at the feast! Oooo that's good to
Beggars at the Feast, Inc. Hahaha!!
Here are the titles & their possible tag lines in the running in no particular order:
3 Legged Dog, Inc.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
If a 3 Legged Dog can greet the day with a smile, so can I!
One leg down, three to go!
Ringer Neck Productions, Inc.
If it doesn't make you crazy, it's probably not worth it!
Virgin Sandbox Kids, Inc.
You might have to get old but you never have to grow up!
Brandylion Gate, Inc.
The pussy who roars!
1 Joke B, Inc.
Never tell a joke twice!
MTH Productions, Inc.
Magic Treehouse Productions, Inc.
Farced Face, Inc.
Bang it, Slam it, Shoot it!
Coward, Porter, Wilde, Williams, Rowell & Dean, LLP
5 Fags & a Hag
Whatever it might end up being, trust it will be witty, & bright just like me and my friends who are beggars at the feast! Oooo that's good to
Beggars at the Feast, Inc. Hahaha!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Flirting Part II
Ok so where were we? Oh yes...after my set the pretty curly haired girl tapped me on the shoulder and apologized for interrupting my set. I was like please tell me what I said wrong, she went on about how my definition of "buggery" was a little off but I was correct in that during Elizabethan times homosexuality was punishable by death. Blah Blah Blah I really didn't even care all that much because she smelled great....
Some of her friends appeared and she went upstairs and the boys and I continued our prayer meeting. A bit later she & her friends came back downstairs and started talking with Tom. He caught my eye and mouthed to me..."she's straight." I nodded in agreement it was clear from the get go and that's fine. Expected and fine. She said she had just gotten her first big girl apartment and we all had a drink to celebrate. The boys went to smoke and she sat next to me. She pressed her leg against mine and at first I thought she was just getting her balance on the stool but then it stayed there. Hmmmm....She said she couldn't wait to move into her new apt. and that she had been staying with her old roommate from college. She gestured toward a tall beautiful red head in the corner. We've been sharing a bed the past couple of nights because I hate my current roommates and just can't go back there....I died a little inside, kinda like when I watch Joan leave a room on Mad Men.
Gerry had started his set at the piano and she asked me if he took requests. I turned to Brian and he said sure if you wright it on a dollar. She laughed and looked at me, "How about Brandy you're a fine girl?" Now that's flirting right??? It felt like flirting...I don't know. She is performing in the show next week and asked more than once to make sure I would be there to give her feed back on her set. Stay tuned readers there maybe a Part III.
Hahahaha!!
Some of her friends appeared and she went upstairs and the boys and I continued our prayer meeting. A bit later she & her friends came back downstairs and started talking with Tom. He caught my eye and mouthed to me..."she's straight." I nodded in agreement it was clear from the get go and that's fine. Expected and fine. She said she had just gotten her first big girl apartment and we all had a drink to celebrate. The boys went to smoke and she sat next to me. She pressed her leg against mine and at first I thought she was just getting her balance on the stool but then it stayed there. Hmmmm....She said she couldn't wait to move into her new apt. and that she had been staying with her old roommate from college. She gestured toward a tall beautiful red head in the corner. We've been sharing a bed the past couple of nights because I hate my current roommates and just can't go back there....I died a little inside, kinda like when I watch Joan leave a room on Mad Men.
Gerry had started his set at the piano and she asked me if he took requests. I turned to Brian and he said sure if you wright it on a dollar. She laughed and looked at me, "How about Brandy you're a fine girl?" Now that's flirting right??? It felt like flirting...I don't know. She is performing in the show next week and asked more than once to make sure I would be there to give her feed back on her set. Stay tuned readers there maybe a Part III.
Hahahaha!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Flirting.....
Ok it's been A-WHILE since a pretty girl flirted with me but I believe that it happened last night at the Duplex. I got to close the show which is fun even though the audience had thinned a bit. Pulling out all new material, in an attempt to build an act, surprisingly it went well, really well and I am excited to see if it can't grow it even further.
After my set I went to get my usual review from my peanut gallery (i.e. Tom) and he said it was a solid double. Excellent. He was also pleased with his "heckle" of me which got a huge laugh. I was proud of him too!! He really is a funny guy, and I enjoy when he tops me in public!! lol!!
Kurt a very attractive man was sitting with Tom, flirting with him is more accurate. He said that he had to pee but after hearing me stayed, to see the rest of my set. I went to shake his hand and he kissed it. Enchantée!! Lovely!! Nothing feels better than the adoration of a gay man. They are hard to impress but once they're on your side you're princess for a day! Or in my case a lifetime!!
A curly blonde headed girl with bold eye wear had also interrupted my set, the atmosphere at the Duplex is usually light and breezy with an air of audience participation which I like, who can't use some unsolicited market research. However, she got embarrassed and didn't finish what she wanted to say to me about my Shakespearean anecdote. Awwww cute.
Suddenly I don't feel like, sharing anymore, I just heard my mother in my head, or was it Oprah? Saying, “keep this little flirt to yourself awhile longer, enjoy it just for you.” But stay tuned I'll dish the dirt eventually....Ta for now!
After my set I went to get my usual review from my peanut gallery (i.e. Tom) and he said it was a solid double. Excellent. He was also pleased with his "heckle" of me which got a huge laugh. I was proud of him too!! He really is a funny guy, and I enjoy when he tops me in public!! lol!!
Kurt a very attractive man was sitting with Tom, flirting with him is more accurate. He said that he had to pee but after hearing me stayed, to see the rest of my set. I went to shake his hand and he kissed it. Enchantée!! Lovely!! Nothing feels better than the adoration of a gay man. They are hard to impress but once they're on your side you're princess for a day! Or in my case a lifetime!!
A curly blonde headed girl with bold eye wear had also interrupted my set, the atmosphere at the Duplex is usually light and breezy with an air of audience participation which I like, who can't use some unsolicited market research. However, she got embarrassed and didn't finish what she wanted to say to me about my Shakespearean anecdote. Awwww cute.
Suddenly I don't feel like, sharing anymore, I just heard my mother in my head, or was it Oprah? Saying, “keep this little flirt to yourself awhile longer, enjoy it just for you.” But stay tuned I'll dish the dirt eventually....Ta for now!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Where do you live?
This weekend I was asked why I call my apartment the Magic Treehouse. It was hard for me to explain why? It makes all the sense in the world to me. We all know Hobbits live in a shire, Trolls live under bridges, Princesses in castles, & wild ponies reside on the moors. The girl I mean to be lives in a treehouse....
I need a place where I can go,
Where I can whisper what I know,
Where I can whisper who I like
And where I go to see them.
I need a place where I can hide,
Where no one sees my life inside,
Where I can make my plans, and write them down
So I can read them.
A place where I can bid my heart be still
And it will mind me.
A place where I can go when I am lost,
And there I'll find me.
I need a place to spend the day,
Where no one says to go or stay,
Where I can take my pen and draw
The girl I mean to be.
So I ask you dear reader, where do you live?
I need a place where I can go,
Where I can whisper what I know,
Where I can whisper who I like
And where I go to see them.
I need a place where I can hide,
Where no one sees my life inside,
Where I can make my plans, and write them down
So I can read them.
A place where I can bid my heart be still
And it will mind me.
A place where I can go when I am lost,
And there I'll find me.
I need a place to spend the day,
Where no one says to go or stay,
Where I can take my pen and draw
The girl I mean to be.
So I ask you dear reader, where do you live?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Freud Alert!!
Over the past month or so I have not been able to sleep. When I do sleep I am having some crazy dreams.Last night was the best yet!! I’m in a production of Les Misérables with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Truly an amazing moment in subconscious non-reality theatre history. Amy and I are in the wings and I look at her like, "what are you doing here?" I can’t believe you are in the show. Amy’s says, "if I don’t show up they don’t give me my check and mamma needs to get paid!" I start laughing and then see Tina Fey and she looks at me and says, "are we gonna ride this Lazy Suzanne or what?"
They march out onto the turntable like they’ve been doing it for years and I can’t stop laughing…..I wake up laughing. I roll over hoping to rejoin them on the barricade but end up fighting giant snails with Frodo in the shire.
What is happening???
Monday, October 19, 2009
Belief
Friday night I spent with Todd & Olivia we went to see Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story at Village East Cinemas. Since I have the directional capabilities of someone with vertigo and a bag over their head I naturally went to the wrong movie theatre. Village Cinema on 12th & University is not playing Believe. Thank goodness Village East is only a few avenues over and I managed to redirect myself. Arriving at the theatre I did not see my Ed-Head crew but did see the ancient former Mayor of New York Ed Koch. He climbed the staircase as if he was ascending into the heavens awaiting his eternal reward. He made his way to the concession stand and I wondered which movie he was there to see, my bet was on Zombieland since he looked like one.
The universe is nutty in that I had just watched the documentary "Outrage" on HBO. If you haven't heard, Outrage argues that several American political figures have led closeted gay lives while supporting and endorsing legislation that is harmful to the gay community. One of the conjectures in the film is that Mr. Koch had had a boyfriend whom he had pressured to leave New York and remain silent about their relationship. In an interview with New York Post, Ed Koch denounced the film and claimed that it mischaracterized his record on gay issues. He did not respond to the film's assertions that he had failed to adequately respond to the New York's AIDS epidemic, or to the film's allegations about his past same sex relationships.
The small advocate part of me wanted to go up to him and ask him face to face about it. But as I am a blushing petal in the Wedding Bouquet of life I did not do so, confrontation is not one of my strong suits. Plus, he looked so frail and tired that really what would be the point. Pity won the day.
Todd & Olivia arrived shortly after and we settled into the theatre for our Eddie treat. The film basically traced his whole life from childhood to a sold out performance at Wembley Arena. With archival footage and family photos we see young Edward evolve from school boy to street performer to stand-up comic to being an out transvestite multi-media star.
It was so amazing to see him work out new material just like the rest of us. Slogging away for years in the nothingness to become an “overnight” success is heartening for someone like me. Eddie said that you have to believe you are something before you become it. He had to believe that he was a performer even though people said he wasn’t, he had to believe that what he thought was funny was funny. I mean a bit about being raised by wolves isn’t your usual comic fare, but it was the joke that got him on the national radar and led him to selling over 350,000 tickets to his Stripped Concert Tour.
After the movie we tumbled into the Telephone bar, making it a theme night of sorts. I had two black & tans and an order of bangers & mash.
Food and ale fit for any transvestite who trots the boards.
As I look forward to my upcoming shows with Eddie on my shoulder his stilettos digging into my shoulder blade I will recite my tiny prayer…I believe, I believe, I believe…..Ta!!
The universe is nutty in that I had just watched the documentary "Outrage" on HBO. If you haven't heard, Outrage argues that several American political figures have led closeted gay lives while supporting and endorsing legislation that is harmful to the gay community. One of the conjectures in the film is that Mr. Koch had had a boyfriend whom he had pressured to leave New York and remain silent about their relationship. In an interview with New York Post, Ed Koch denounced the film and claimed that it mischaracterized his record on gay issues. He did not respond to the film's assertions that he had failed to adequately respond to the New York's AIDS epidemic, or to the film's allegations about his past same sex relationships.
The small advocate part of me wanted to go up to him and ask him face to face about it. But as I am a blushing petal in the Wedding Bouquet of life I did not do so, confrontation is not one of my strong suits. Plus, he looked so frail and tired that really what would be the point. Pity won the day.
Todd & Olivia arrived shortly after and we settled into the theatre for our Eddie treat. The film basically traced his whole life from childhood to a sold out performance at Wembley Arena. With archival footage and family photos we see young Edward evolve from school boy to street performer to stand-up comic to being an out transvestite multi-media star.
It was so amazing to see him work out new material just like the rest of us. Slogging away for years in the nothingness to become an “overnight” success is heartening for someone like me. Eddie said that you have to believe you are something before you become it. He had to believe that he was a performer even though people said he wasn’t, he had to believe that what he thought was funny was funny. I mean a bit about being raised by wolves isn’t your usual comic fare, but it was the joke that got him on the national radar and led him to selling over 350,000 tickets to his Stripped Concert Tour.
After the movie we tumbled into the Telephone bar, making it a theme night of sorts. I had two black & tans and an order of bangers & mash.
Food and ale fit for any transvestite who trots the boards.
As I look forward to my upcoming shows with Eddie on my shoulder his stilettos digging into my shoulder blade I will recite my tiny prayer…I believe, I believe, I believe…..Ta!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Nights of Wine, Roses & Farewells!!
My sister in Spirits & in Booth Anne Tolpegin (aka Tits McGee) is leaving for Japan to do a singing gig until December 21st. How often does one get to wear a ball gown and sing Circle of Life & When You Wish upon a Star in Japanese? When the Mouse calls you grab your knickers and go.
She had a Sayonara party at Wine & Roses last night a tiny place where her nearest and dearest could met for a splash before she dashes off to the Orient. Granted it was Columbus Day so most people were off work, but it was a Monday and technically a school night so why was everyone at this itty bitty bar on the UWS??? I stood in what I referred to as “the birth canal” a small opening that must be passed through if one wanted to exit and or use the bathroom. One on my pet peeves or ODC’s is that I can’t stand being in the “way”. On several occasions I thought I was just going to starting yelling while flailing my arms about in hopes of acquiring ample personal space and perhaps a slight breeze. There was NO WHERE to go and NO AIR thusly I was sweating as if skewered on a poker by the Spanish Inquisition. (insert Monty Python at will)
I met some really nice folks in our game of 6 degrees of Anne Tolpegin. I had a beer, and managed to juggle my junk as an array of people, who all looked the same, looked at me as if I was some Eastside freak who wandered to far west and needed directions. Around 8:30pm the herd started to thin a little and we managed to squeeze into a table with the remaining Tolpegin bunch. I noticed two thin gay men looking at me. More than once I caught them looking and pointing. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then the waitress said they were expecting a large party and we had to wrap it up by 9pm which was fine because most everyone had rehearsal in the morning.
My new evil twin Jacob Climer and I spied two other gentlemen and played are they straight or gay. With their tailored to impress clothing and odd gay hair circa 1994 I was sure they were gay. Jacob was not convinced, until he walked up to the bar for closer inspection and mouthed to me, “YOU WERE RIGHT!” We then notice a hodge podge of B level “stars” filtering into the place and that’s when the manager came over and said, “I’m sorry but you got to go.” We were settling up and grabbing coats as he said this, clearly we are going Mister.
I looked up and saw Sherri Shepherd. Who in my opinion is the black version of Kristin Chenoweth. Not talent wise but in stature and boobage!! All tits, hair and smiles. I couldn’t look her directly in the eye because frankly, I’ve seen her sitcom. Her stock with me has gone down because it is AWFUL with a capital yuck. But hey she’s not the one getting kicked out of a bar, I am, as I walked past her my head lowered, I approached the door and saw Claudia Shear which almost made me cry. We gathered outside and saw a sign for gaylifenyc.org or something. Maybe some fund raising event?? Who can say? As we walked away Carol Kane and her crew strutted by clearly headed to the party, I looked her in the eye and she smiled, we both had made bold ear wear choices so there’s automatically a sisterly bond.
I was home by 10pm, a new record for me to say the least but I couldn’t help but wonder who was watching Jeffrey???
She had a Sayonara party at Wine & Roses last night a tiny place where her nearest and dearest could met for a splash before she dashes off to the Orient. Granted it was Columbus Day so most people were off work, but it was a Monday and technically a school night so why was everyone at this itty bitty bar on the UWS??? I stood in what I referred to as “the birth canal” a small opening that must be passed through if one wanted to exit and or use the bathroom. One on my pet peeves or ODC’s is that I can’t stand being in the “way”. On several occasions I thought I was just going to starting yelling while flailing my arms about in hopes of acquiring ample personal space and perhaps a slight breeze. There was NO WHERE to go and NO AIR thusly I was sweating as if skewered on a poker by the Spanish Inquisition. (insert Monty Python at will)
I met some really nice folks in our game of 6 degrees of Anne Tolpegin. I had a beer, and managed to juggle my junk as an array of people, who all looked the same, looked at me as if I was some Eastside freak who wandered to far west and needed directions. Around 8:30pm the herd started to thin a little and we managed to squeeze into a table with the remaining Tolpegin bunch. I noticed two thin gay men looking at me. More than once I caught them looking and pointing. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but then the waitress said they were expecting a large party and we had to wrap it up by 9pm which was fine because most everyone had rehearsal in the morning.
My new evil twin Jacob Climer and I spied two other gentlemen and played are they straight or gay. With their tailored to impress clothing and odd gay hair circa 1994 I was sure they were gay. Jacob was not convinced, until he walked up to the bar for closer inspection and mouthed to me, “YOU WERE RIGHT!” We then notice a hodge podge of B level “stars” filtering into the place and that’s when the manager came over and said, “I’m sorry but you got to go.” We were settling up and grabbing coats as he said this, clearly we are going Mister.
I looked up and saw Sherri Shepherd. Who in my opinion is the black version of Kristin Chenoweth. Not talent wise but in stature and boobage!! All tits, hair and smiles. I couldn’t look her directly in the eye because frankly, I’ve seen her sitcom. Her stock with me has gone down because it is AWFUL with a capital yuck. But hey she’s not the one getting kicked out of a bar, I am, as I walked past her my head lowered, I approached the door and saw Claudia Shear which almost made me cry. We gathered outside and saw a sign for gaylifenyc.org or something. Maybe some fund raising event?? Who can say? As we walked away Carol Kane and her crew strutted by clearly headed to the party, I looked her in the eye and she smiled, we both had made bold ear wear choices so there’s automatically a sisterly bond.
I was home by 10pm, a new record for me to say the least but I couldn’t help but wonder who was watching Jeffrey???
Monday, October 12, 2009
TOO MUCH & TOO LITTLE OF ME TO GO AROUND!
This week is going to be a marathon of sorts. Originally I had planned to be away the 13th-18th, the amazing Jackie Monahan asked me to open for her during Women's Week in Provincetown, MA unfortunately I could not find anywhere to stay. I shook every tree I could think of, friends asked friends, I even considered sleeping on the beach. But hello it's OCTOBER!! I really wanted to do the gig. I need more of those opportunities because I need to get out of my comfort zone and really scare the self doubt outta me. Oh well maybe next year....
So I down shifted into what was out there for me to do if I stayed in town. Holy crap, I have a good-bye party, a birthday party, a show w/ friends, on Thursday I know I have something but I can't remember?? Friday is Vinnie's Bar Wars premiere but my DVR has that covered. I need to see if the boys are coming over for dinner this weekend. I've been promising them my Mom's Lasagna for months now. Need to find time to spend with new favorite straight couple Eleanor & Dan. And Sunday night is quality time with Madeleine, but after this week I'm not sure if I will be awake for the quality time or the Mad Men...lol!!
Wish me lucky readers and if you have any Red Bull lying around send it to the tree house STAT!!!
So I down shifted into what was out there for me to do if I stayed in town. Holy crap, I have a good-bye party, a birthday party, a show w/ friends, on Thursday I know I have something but I can't remember?? Friday is Vinnie's Bar Wars premiere but my DVR has that covered. I need to see if the boys are coming over for dinner this weekend. I've been promising them my Mom's Lasagna for months now. Need to find time to spend with new favorite straight couple Eleanor & Dan. And Sunday night is quality time with Madeleine, but after this week I'm not sure if I will be awake for the quality time or the Mad Men...lol!!
Wish me lucky readers and if you have any Red Bull lying around send it to the tree house STAT!!!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Currently.....
I am not only in charge of my life, which is a full time shit storm of juggling four universes in which I am a full time player. I am also responsible for the management and time allotments on 5 other lives at work!!! And no readers there has not been a discussion of a pay raise, in this economic climate more = less. Ugh!!!
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