Before we say good-bye to the shit storm that was 2010, I thought I might pen one last blog.
Currently I'm a mess; broken in more places than usual. Baby Leg Part 1 which broke open again this morning "le sigh" surgery 2 looming in the future, scary thought. Baby Leg Part 2 still boot covered which has my lower back all out of whack & moving like a zombie eggplant; practically in tears most of the time. Wanting only to sleep, sleep away all that's not fixed, so much easier than actually repairing the damage which seems to be taking forever. My little light is oh so dim right now.
But it's the holidays which carry their own set of baggage, mostly missing the family of yesteryear. Wondering when the last egg of 2010 will drop, which would normally make me worry about the second coming of Christ, but my pagan lesbian status throws me clear of that designation. Then there is the loneliness of yet another count down with no kiss at the end. 40 on the horizon and no closer to finishing one of the 3 plays that haunt my imagination. I’m still stuck in a Jewbical with no apparent exit sign leading to the career of my liking.
Bitch, bitch, whine, & bitch should be the name of my law firm. So do we grab the boot straps and pull this eggplant above sea level and start again? I thought my jelly could see me through to the end of this ride, but the jar she is empty. I wonder if Walgreens carries magic jelly. Tinker Bell won’t take my calls. Maybe I should stop listening to Sara Bareilles, but it’s really not fair to blame her and her piano for my melancholic daze.
Maybe the next 3 days will show me which way to go, what path to take, there’s always room for miracles both large and small. Just have to keep your eyes peeled!! So here is to 2011 and figuring it all out, finding my way out from under this mountain of bullshit & remembering how to be happy. Hmmmm happy I think I can recall what that used to feel like; I used to keep it next to grateful and ecstatic.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
One to grow on....
Can I drink while taking antibiotics?
For many years, physicians and pharmacists were telling folks to avoid beverage alcohol while taking antibiotics, especially penicillin derivatives and cephalosporins. This was based on studies of soldiers taking antibiotics and then drinking. It was discovered that their infections were not improving. It was discovered years later than no interaction had actually occured, but that the soldiers weren't taking their antibiotics as prescribed!
Silly soldiers take your meds!!!!
For many years, physicians and pharmacists were telling folks to avoid beverage alcohol while taking antibiotics, especially penicillin derivatives and cephalosporins. This was based on studies of soldiers taking antibiotics and then drinking. It was discovered that their infections were not improving. It was discovered years later than no interaction had actually occured, but that the soldiers weren't taking their antibiotics as prescribed!
Silly soldiers take your meds!!!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Conversation is Art!
I recommend you watch Public Speaking, an HBO documentary directed by Martin Scorsese, that consisted of interviews and clips of the legend that is Fran Lebowitz. She has become to me what James Arthur Baldwin was to her an inspiration encouraging thought, wit and an incessant need to talk.
Here's a taste....
And a bit more...
Watching and listening to her last night really opened my eyes to the fact that as a civilization we are quickly evolving into monosyllabic texting idiots who are umbilically attached to each other through technology, but we say nothing and are nothing. Recording life on smart phones and not actually living it. In fact our phones are smart but they've lulled us into a torpid state of mental stagnation. Being intelligent has become taboo, while being famous is all that’s held sacred or worthwhile. You can be famous for nothing, for not being anything, for not being talented or intelligent in anyway. I say we round up these frauds and feed them to the lions, reboot our minds and start over with something revolutionary like a well crafted phrase.
Here's a taste....
And a bit more...
Watching and listening to her last night really opened my eyes to the fact that as a civilization we are quickly evolving into monosyllabic texting idiots who are umbilically attached to each other through technology, but we say nothing and are nothing. Recording life on smart phones and not actually living it. In fact our phones are smart but they've lulled us into a torpid state of mental stagnation. Being intelligent has become taboo, while being famous is all that’s held sacred or worthwhile. You can be famous for nothing, for not being anything, for not being talented or intelligent in anyway. I say we round up these frauds and feed them to the lions, reboot our minds and start over with something revolutionary like a well crafted phrase.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Lessons Learned?
They say the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over expecting a different out come. Kind of like drunk texting.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Weekend at an English Country Estate
I am so proud to have played a small part in this production. As resident house manger, fire guard and champagne slinger I get to enjoy this romp around the English countryside every night. Which affords me the luxury of watching it change and blossom into the ping-pong match of wit it has bloomed into. The reviews have been glowing and the company can't be sweeter if they tried!! As we go into our last 6 shows I get a little melancholy, but know that it's NOT over, this show will have life after life in theaters at every level!! Here's one of the reviews:
On a completely opposite note, the Ateh Theater Group is currently performing a piece that is an achievement in comedic timing, acting, directing, and writing. Those looking to have a great time and to see a new play that will most likely end up on the same shelf as Present Laughter and Noises Off in a few years, should make sure to get down to the Access Theatre to see "Weekend at an English Country Estate." It is incredibly rare to find a piece that is so well constructed that it becomes a showcase for every single actor in the cast, but this show does that and then some. With carefully timed entrances and exits, dramatic irony, and bombastic characters this show takes off and does not let up until the bang up finale of the first act. The audience then gets right back on the roller coaster for a second act that is just as exciting and ties up beautifully. Sara Montgomery's script is a piece of writing that is classic. Set in the 1930's the story revolves around a recently separated well to do couple who have each taken their younger fling to the estate for the weekend. They arrive thinking they will be alone and discover one another. The cast of characters that explode out of this simple beginning are hilarious. From a depressed poet, to an acerbic butler, to a bookish young girl with a wild side the wackiness does not stop. To say much more would ruin the discovery of each new plot point which Montgomery layers so beautifully that the second one story runs into the other, hilarity ensues. The cast is phenomenal and entirely committed to the style of the piece with Montgomery herself playing a role that is not too taxing on the vocal chords. The audience was laughing so hard through much of the show, some lines were even lost. Of course, a show like this really soars when it has excellent direction and the razor sharp timing and execution of each moment clearly shine through in this show thanks to Paul Urcioli. Amongst many period comedies that need quite a bit of polish, this one shines as bright as a new piece of silver.
Sara Montgomery you genius! Thanks for making me part of the team!! xoxo
Friday, October 22, 2010
Baby Leg: The Unending Saga....
3 years ago I had surgery on my left leg for plantar fasciitis or "heel spur syndrome". What a mistake that was, the syndrome itself is gone but my heel won't heal. One of the incision sites still leaks and is tender. Unfortunately the right leg is now consumed with the same malady which reaches up into my right hip. So in yet another attempt to be pain free I am seeing Dr. Sheskier on Monday.
He offers a non-surgical treatment option for patients with plantar fasciitis that has not responded to conservative therapy. The majority of patients with plantar fasciitis will be cured within 2-3 months of therapy consisting of physical therapy, night splints and orthotics. Unfortunately for some relief is elusive, leaving the sufferer with the decision to "live with it" or submit to a surgical treatment.
A new treatment option is now available. Extracorporeal Shock Wave treatment (ESWT), a non-invasive technique, has been proven to be effective in the majority of those cases. This in office procedure has been proven to be as effective as surgery but without the risks of a surgical procedure.
Wish me and the baby legs luck, I can't take much more of this, my last resort is a 24/7 morphine drip.
He offers a non-surgical treatment option for patients with plantar fasciitis that has not responded to conservative therapy. The majority of patients with plantar fasciitis will be cured within 2-3 months of therapy consisting of physical therapy, night splints and orthotics. Unfortunately for some relief is elusive, leaving the sufferer with the decision to "live with it" or submit to a surgical treatment.
A new treatment option is now available. Extracorporeal Shock Wave treatment (ESWT), a non-invasive technique, has been proven to be effective in the majority of those cases. This in office procedure has been proven to be as effective as surgery but without the risks of a surgical procedure.
Wish me and the baby legs luck, I can't take much more of this, my last resort is a 24/7 morphine drip.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Joy!
For an extended period of time my Joy has been elusive and I realized it's because I have stopped doing the things that make me Brandy "with a Y" Rowell.
Whimsy, magic, an air of wickedness isn't easy to maintain and my process to keep all of the those key ingredients in tip top running order have fallen by the wayside. Until taking on the role of house manager for Weekend at an English Country Estate by my inspiring friend Sara Montgomery. Watching this theatrical adventure unfold has shown me the path that I wandered away from absentmindedly.
I used to go to church every Sunday with my heels dug in and my "doubting Thomas" reared & waiting for a fight. Used to make my mother crazy that I refused to just "believe". Only she didn't realize that she was taking me to the wrong church.
When I walked into my first theatre I realized that God doesn't only live on religious properties. He lives where you find Joy. Where you feel at home, safe and surrounded by what you truly love. I've been asleep. Wasted time and turned a broken spirit away from what makes me, well me. All because I fear failure.
Well sod it all....I know who I am, what I am and what I want to do with my life and if "they" don't like it they don't have to buy a ticket. So here's to me buying the first to the Brandy with a Y Show! More me! Less fear, less hopelessness and more pixie dust please!!!
Whimsy, magic, an air of wickedness isn't easy to maintain and my process to keep all of the those key ingredients in tip top running order have fallen by the wayside. Until taking on the role of house manager for Weekend at an English Country Estate by my inspiring friend Sara Montgomery. Watching this theatrical adventure unfold has shown me the path that I wandered away from absentmindedly.
I used to go to church every Sunday with my heels dug in and my "doubting Thomas" reared & waiting for a fight. Used to make my mother crazy that I refused to just "believe". Only she didn't realize that she was taking me to the wrong church.
When I walked into my first theatre I realized that God doesn't only live on religious properties. He lives where you find Joy. Where you feel at home, safe and surrounded by what you truly love. I've been asleep. Wasted time and turned a broken spirit away from what makes me, well me. All because I fear failure.
Well sod it all....I know who I am, what I am and what I want to do with my life and if "they" don't like it they don't have to buy a ticket. So here's to me buying the first to the Brandy with a Y Show! More me! Less fear, less hopelessness and more pixie dust please!!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Oooops I Gleeked....
On Sunday October 10th I was on an early morning M57 bus headed toward the westside to the Javitis Center for Comic-Con 2010. (more to blog on that little nugget later)
When all of a sudden, what should I see but this happy family standing on 57th between Madison and Park.....
Ahhhhh a great day in the city!! and that's how B, sees it!!
When all of a sudden, what should I see but this happy family standing on 57th between Madison and Park.....
Ahhhhh a great day in the city!! and that's how B, sees it!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Coming to America
This is BO WAH MEI, she's from Viet Nam and now lives on the perch overlooking my Jewbical. Thank you Allie Lipner for bringing her legally into the States.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Liberty vs. Something like it...
Liberty has a price most of us will never pay, but enjoy to the fullest. Lately the scuttlebutt over the mosque being built near the 9/11 site has brought people to fisticuffs over whether or not it is appropriate to allow this place of worship to be erected. That it is an offense to the families of those killed in the attack. That somehow the whole of Islam is out to get us and if we let them pray near the World Trade Center, in some bigger picture that only the myopic can see, “they” win.
I’m sorry I guess we’ve all forgotten that this is America and that we do NOT discriminate against other people’s beliefs or where, when & how they worship. We swallow a lot of bullsh*t for this freedom. Think of the Civil Rights Movement which still to this day has to be vigilant in its pursuit of equality. It’s frightening to learn that in Charleston, Mississippi, Charleston High School just had their first integrated Prom in 2008. That’s right ya’ll 2008!!!
However, in America you have the right to be closed minded, bigoted and racist. You can spew your negativity and hate to anyone and on any media outlet who will listen. You also have the right to open your thoughts, to embrace your fellow man, respect his or her rights and try tolerance. Think of it as a lifestyle choice.
“They” only win if we don’t build the mosque. If we fold our arms and say, “no” then we become hypocrites wrapped in a flag of our own indignation. Moralizing that the families of these victims would be hurt or disrespected isn’t consistent with history. Look at Nathan Hale, one of Americas first true patriots, you remember him from 5th grade history class, right? He uttered, “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country,” at his hanging which occurred on 66th & Third Avenue there’s no monument or statue of him, only a small plaque that hangs on the Banana Republic occupying that “sacred” ground.
Never forgetting doesn’t mean turning Ground Zero into a tourist attraction and using its sentimentality to bully your way over other people’s rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. No one said this grand ideal etched in parchment would be easy, it's often a hard pill to take, and we've made mistakes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Would you?
I’m sorry I guess we’ve all forgotten that this is America and that we do NOT discriminate against other people’s beliefs or where, when & how they worship. We swallow a lot of bullsh*t for this freedom. Think of the Civil Rights Movement which still to this day has to be vigilant in its pursuit of equality. It’s frightening to learn that in Charleston, Mississippi, Charleston High School just had their first integrated Prom in 2008. That’s right ya’ll 2008!!!
However, in America you have the right to be closed minded, bigoted and racist. You can spew your negativity and hate to anyone and on any media outlet who will listen. You also have the right to open your thoughts, to embrace your fellow man, respect his or her rights and try tolerance. Think of it as a lifestyle choice.
“They” only win if we don’t build the mosque. If we fold our arms and say, “no” then we become hypocrites wrapped in a flag of our own indignation. Moralizing that the families of these victims would be hurt or disrespected isn’t consistent with history. Look at Nathan Hale, one of Americas first true patriots, you remember him from 5th grade history class, right? He uttered, “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country,” at his hanging which occurred on 66th & Third Avenue there’s no monument or statue of him, only a small plaque that hangs on the Banana Republic occupying that “sacred” ground.
Never forgetting doesn’t mean turning Ground Zero into a tourist attraction and using its sentimentality to bully your way over other people’s rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. No one said this grand ideal etched in parchment would be easy, it's often a hard pill to take, and we've made mistakes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Would you?
Friday, September 3, 2010
VHS vs. DVD
Time Warner Cable can suck it. Really, after losing my cable last Saturday night and the 5 subsequent days following I have revisited the permanent "disconnect" from the Matrix. After the season finale of Mad Men in early October of course.
However, during that time I filled the void by watching a few of my favorite VHS classics. WOW! VHS does not hold up after years of sitting on a shelf. The pictures were grainy and the color faded. Why I thought tape was forever I don't know, I guess the AFI really does keep cinema alive and well preserved for future generations.
I'm not a fan of hi-def anything, I want to watch the movie or show not “be” in it. Occasionally it even makes me queasy. DVD’s are by far a better product; they are smaller, if you spill something on them you just wipe it off, scratching seems to be the only nemesis haunting the avid collector. Only, you know there’s something in the wings waiting to take its place. Blue Ray is just an enhanced DVD right? It’s not actually a ray that projects images in your mind.
I will say this though, my VHS copy of Soapdish has the classic continuity flub, of Sally Fields going from heels to tennis shoes….makes me laugh every time so I think I’ll hold onto it.
However, during that time I filled the void by watching a few of my favorite VHS classics. WOW! VHS does not hold up after years of sitting on a shelf. The pictures were grainy and the color faded. Why I thought tape was forever I don't know, I guess the AFI really does keep cinema alive and well preserved for future generations.
I'm not a fan of hi-def anything, I want to watch the movie or show not “be” in it. Occasionally it even makes me queasy. DVD’s are by far a better product; they are smaller, if you spill something on them you just wipe it off, scratching seems to be the only nemesis haunting the avid collector. Only, you know there’s something in the wings waiting to take its place. Blue Ray is just an enhanced DVD right? It’s not actually a ray that projects images in your mind.
I will say this though, my VHS copy of Soapdish has the classic continuity flub, of Sally Fields going from heels to tennis shoes….makes me laugh every time so I think I’ll hold onto it.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Handy Capping the Tony's
After looking over the latest Theatrical Index my mind is wondering where are all these shows going to go? I mean there are only so many Broadway theaters and as it stands for the 2010-2011 Tony Season there seems to be like 25 New Musicals/Revivals and 5 or 6 New Plays allegedly opening.
My best friend and partner in crime and other lascivious activities is in SPIDER MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK, so naturally I wanted to know what is coming down the pike in competition for BEST MUSICAL!
The biggest rival seems to be WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, which is opening at the newly renovated Belasco Theatre. All I can say is I hope they removed the "curse" as well at the worn out carpet in the process. Nothing runs at the Belasco, at least not since I've been in New York. If your show opens there you might as well turn around and start auditioning because the curtain won't stay up long. The last decade isn't exactly riddled with hits.....
2000: James Joyce's The Dead
2001: Follies
2002: Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune
2004: Dracula, the Musical
2005: Julius Caesar
2006: Awake and Sing!
2007: Journey's End
2008: Passing Strange; American Buffalo
2009: Joe Turner's Come and Gone
Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune & Joe Turner's Come and Gone were limited runs and Passing Strange while an AMAZING show never really found an audience!
I guess it all depends on when the cut-off date for Tony eligibility for the 2010-2011 Broadway season — the final day a production can open and still be eligible for Tony nominations — which has still YET to be decided. Makes me think the "Producers" are up to some shenanigans. It had been narrowed to down to April 21 or April 28, 2011. Someone must be trying to get in under the wire.
WE SHALL SEE!!!!
My best friend and partner in crime and other lascivious activities is in SPIDER MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK, so naturally I wanted to know what is coming down the pike in competition for BEST MUSICAL!
The biggest rival seems to be WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, which is opening at the newly renovated Belasco Theatre. All I can say is I hope they removed the "curse" as well at the worn out carpet in the process. Nothing runs at the Belasco, at least not since I've been in New York. If your show opens there you might as well turn around and start auditioning because the curtain won't stay up long. The last decade isn't exactly riddled with hits.....
2000: James Joyce's The Dead
2001: Follies
2002: Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune
2004: Dracula, the Musical
2005: Julius Caesar
2006: Awake and Sing!
2007: Journey's End
2008: Passing Strange; American Buffalo
2009: Joe Turner's Come and Gone
Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune & Joe Turner's Come and Gone were limited runs and Passing Strange while an AMAZING show never really found an audience!
I guess it all depends on when the cut-off date for Tony eligibility for the 2010-2011 Broadway season — the final day a production can open and still be eligible for Tony nominations — which has still YET to be decided. Makes me think the "Producers" are up to some shenanigans. It had been narrowed to down to April 21 or April 28, 2011. Someone must be trying to get in under the wire.
WE SHALL SEE!!!!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Nothing's Black or White
Darren Aronofsky completely lost me with The Wrestler. Maybe I waited too long and just didn't care after all the media hype to be moved by the film or inspired or whatever he was trying to accomplish. I like my Aronofsky dark, twisted and hallucinating on whatever fresh mushroom has popped into his cranium. I stumbled across the trailer for the Black Swan and let's just say daddy's little signet has come home to roost.
My cin·é·aste in crime (Allen Stafford) was quickly notified and as I wrote on his face book wall of my anticipation of said film, "You and I have a date with the Black Swan. Aronofsky's is BACK IN BLACK. Of course if we're going to watch Natalie Portman masturbate and or do it with Mila Kunis we will be HAVING margaritas after, or before or during!! lol!! (ps-just when you thought Natalie couldn't get any thinner…eeeeeeee).
Follow up review shortly after December 1st. Wow that's a long time to wait to see what hatches.
The New Cagney & Lacey
If the formula ain't broke don't fix it. Cagney & Lacey ran for seven seasons from March 25, 1982 to May 16, 1988 after originally being canceled after season one, but due to fan petition was brought back. Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly combined to win the Emmy for Best Lead Actress in a Drama six straight years in a row, a winning streak unmatched in any major category by a show. It was one of my mother's favorites and even though I was knee high to a tadpole I remember loving it too. (Hmmmm I wonder why?)
Now to my great satisfaction this classic television program has now been reborn into "Rizzoli & Isles" which is based on a series of best selling books. Linda Stasi of the New York Post said it best, "Even if you can’t take one more police procedural this summer, you should give TNT’s terrific new cop show, “Rizzoli & Isles,” at least one chance. Why? Because it is your mother’s cop show. A throw-back to ye olde “Cagney & Lacey” days, “R&I” is about two women in the crime-busting biz. They’re friends. They’re smart. They’re textbook"
This show is rocking my socks. It's so gay without being "gay" that I can't believe Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander don't bust out laughing every time the script gives a wink and a smile to the lesbian community. Especially in the last episode entitled, "I Kissed A Girl," where Harmon goes under cover as a lesbian and Alexander fills out her online dating profile to try and catch the lesbian predator à la Dateline style. Honestly, it's practically soft porn which is the best kind because really who needs to see bits flopping to and fro.
My running commentary while watching the show is giving me pause that maybe I should teach a class on weaving gay subtext into plot content. Some of their witty banter and innuendo is really well placed but others are a tad cliché and cheesy, but I like cheese. Big gay cheese!!! I mean really Angie Harmon leaves a date that her mother, brilliantly played by Lorraine Bracco, sets her up on with a bottle of wine under her arm and where does she go??? Sasha's house and what do they do? Curl up on Sasha's bed and fall asleep. Like in EVERY episode. Hahaha!! Can I also mention that Lorraine tells Harmon to, "suck it up and be a girl?" Thank you TNT!!
Harmon is the tough, street wise Boston Southie cop and Alexander is the well-bred rich girl coroner nicknamed Dr. Death who Harmon has a personalized ring tone for…..these two kill me they are the Law & Order Odd Couple, only I think everyone wants to see Oscar make out with Felix. I know I do....check it out, serious CSI fun!
(TNT is OnDemand under - Entertainment OnDemand check your local listing for channel)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Fun Exercise.....
I dare you to come up with a paragraph following this opening line:
After I bought the box of pink zinfandel....
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Small Stages: Theme Independence
On July 16th I did this great little show at Jimmy's 43 called Small Stages. It's run by the amazing Carlton Ward who lights up my life and any room. Carlton usually has a theme this one being Independence (being so close to the 4th I guess)...as a comic I don't really have a lot of Independence in my set list so I tried something new....the risk paid off, I might be sweaty but I think I killed....
Brandy from Small Stages on Vimeo.
Monday, August 2, 2010
AUGUST!!
Well it's here August!! Time to dig in and start the lock down, which consists of me staying home and writing, working out, not drinking, and basically being good and focused on me!
Not as easy as it sounds for a professional procrastinator. Any excuse to make bad or wrong choices is what I am good at….ha-ha! Everything and anything is infinitely more important and interesting than doing what is best for me. I’ve been in a perpetual state of life avoidance for most of my existence. Keeping my head down, trying to fly below the radar, pretending to be invisible and garner no attention is a true calling for the shy. Only rearing up on my creative haunches to occasionally tell some jokes, write a blog or podcast. Just enough dabbling in what really makes me happy to satiate my need for attention without fully committing to it as a way of life.
Now it is do or die…take a risk or live in this coma of disconnection. Eeeeee sounds so scary and formidable let’s see if I can force a migration into artistry that lives in reality and not just in my day dreams.
Not as easy as it sounds for a professional procrastinator. Any excuse to make bad or wrong choices is what I am good at….ha-ha! Everything and anything is infinitely more important and interesting than doing what is best for me. I’ve been in a perpetual state of life avoidance for most of my existence. Keeping my head down, trying to fly below the radar, pretending to be invisible and garner no attention is a true calling for the shy. Only rearing up on my creative haunches to occasionally tell some jokes, write a blog or podcast. Just enough dabbling in what really makes me happy to satiate my need for attention without fully committing to it as a way of life.
Now it is do or die…take a risk or live in this coma of disconnection. Eeeeee sounds so scary and formidable let’s see if I can force a migration into artistry that lives in reality and not just in my day dreams.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Nothing to say....
July is not the month to blog. I've realized that when it's hot I write less. Too much witty banter seeps out of my pores and I can't focus due to dehydration. I get lazy and just want to lye around and sleep until it's autumn. Clearly it's some sort of reverse hibernation. August is around the corner I will try and be more productive verbally.
Even now I'm nodding off....ssleepy...zzzzzzz.
Even now I'm nodding off....ssleepy...zzzzzzz.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I "Heart" Brandy
So to complete my three part mini-blogisode revolving around my brief yet fruitful run in with Dame Kristen Johnston (title implied by me only and not the Queen, at least not yet).
I performed at Small Stages last Friday night and my friends Ned and Richard were so sweet to come see me shake my jelly. After the show Ned was like listen to this! He hooked me up to his iPhone and played a voice mail from Ms. Johnston which was left the day following he and I going to the Mint Fundraising Event (see blog) Titled - Pass the Mints - June 21, 2010
KJ went on about leaving a package for Ned and where to pick it up blah blah blah and while lovely to hear her instructions secretly thought to myself, “why is Ned making me listen to this?” Then at the very end she pauses and says, “by the way I love Brandy. I think I might be in love with Brandy. Naaaawwwwww. But I do love her.”
Mission accomplished. I left my first favorable impression on a famous person without being to gushy or seemingly overeager to be liked. I was just me and that was enough.......I win! lol!!!
If you missed the first of the KJ Chronicles & don't know the back story.
(see blog) Titled - Funny Comma Genius - December 23, 2009
ps-in case you haven't seen a repeat of 3rd Rock from the Sun in awhile...this be KJ and THE only reason to watch Bride Wars more than once!! lol!
I performed at Small Stages last Friday night and my friends Ned and Richard were so sweet to come see me shake my jelly. After the show Ned was like listen to this! He hooked me up to his iPhone and played a voice mail from Ms. Johnston which was left the day following he and I going to the Mint Fundraising Event (see blog) Titled - Pass the Mints - June 21, 2010
KJ went on about leaving a package for Ned and where to pick it up blah blah blah and while lovely to hear her instructions secretly thought to myself, “why is Ned making me listen to this?” Then at the very end she pauses and says, “by the way I love Brandy. I think I might be in love with Brandy. Naaaawwwwww. But I do love her.”
Mission accomplished. I left my first favorable impression on a famous person without being to gushy or seemingly overeager to be liked. I was just me and that was enough.......I win! lol!!!
If you missed the first of the KJ Chronicles & don't know the back story.
(see blog) Titled - Funny Comma Genius - December 23, 2009
ps-in case you haven't seen a repeat of 3rd Rock from the Sun in awhile...this be KJ and THE only reason to watch Bride Wars more than once!! lol!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Whiskey vs. Whisky
Do you know the difference? I do....thanks to my brilliant friend Dan Gaba I just now two seconds ago entered "Make it at Bushmills!" A contest for a chance of winning a place at Bushcamp and to be in the running for the ultimate prize - 30 days at the Old Bushmills Distillery and an opportunity to make your own unique blend of Bushmills.
How awesome would I be at that!!! I mean really father was orange and mother was green so all I really know how to do is drink, be merry and make people laugh!! Thank goodness Dad converted and I was raised Catholic, so the scars only show on the right side!! lol!
I made this short video....I had no time to think as the deadline for submission was 15mins ago...geez cutting it close is better than not at all.
At the last minute after multiple tries I couldn't get it to upload!!! Daggers!
Notice how my childhood stutter tries to come back but I push it back!!!They took the application anyway....maybe they'll see it here!!!
How awesome would I be at that!!! I mean really father was orange and mother was green so all I really know how to do is drink, be merry and make people laugh!! Thank goodness Dad converted and I was raised Catholic, so the scars only show on the right side!! lol!
I made this short video....I had no time to think as the deadline for submission was 15mins ago...geez cutting it close is better than not at all.
At the last minute after multiple tries I couldn't get it to upload!!! Daggers!
Notice how my childhood stutter tries to come back but I push it back!!!They took the application anyway....maybe they'll see it here!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Freedom Writer!
The other day I was called the Harriet Tubman of creative writing. I'm flattered to no end, but it makes me worried there is a well-crafted descriptive phrase trapped in Mississippi somewhere!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Fake Kiss....
Recently on a few of my favorite entertainment websites I have noticed a trend known as the "fake" kiss. Meaning a celebrity of some sort is only staging kisses to create media hype, for example, Miley Cyrus “fake” kissed a guy and a girl on Britain's Got Talent Show this month.
Stage or screen kisses have been in the business longer than the phrase, “boy meets girl”, but there is something about the term "fake" that implies malice or intent to hurt. Actors "fall" in love and make out with other actors all the time and the trick is NOT to make it seem “fake.” So this “fake” kissing phenomenon is odd to me….as if they know we aren’t going to buy the smooch at all they cop to it’s “fakeness” right off the bat which seems counterproductive to the point of the kiss in the first place.
A kiss for me is a sacred act more so than even having sex. During sex you can detach, retreat into your imagination, even pretend to be somewhere else, or as Lady Gaga alludes, "Poker Face" your way through it. However, when someone is literally in your face that intimate connection is not so easily severed. Faking it for the cameras is low. Straight, Gay, or Bi-kissing for personal gain makes me sad. You should kiss someone ONLY if you mean it. Even if it's not on the lips, kissing another's cheek is not just something to throw away lightly either. Air kisses are silly, fun and usually have some campy glow to them which is fine, but these empty kisses this soulless smooching isn’t worth any amount of buzz.
Caring and loving someone truly seems to be passé. Any public display of affection is just another means to promote yourself, and not seen as a moment of tenderness. Christ listen to me go on…..waxing rhapsodic over the art of snogging.
Stage or screen kisses have been in the business longer than the phrase, “boy meets girl”, but there is something about the term "fake" that implies malice or intent to hurt. Actors "fall" in love and make out with other actors all the time and the trick is NOT to make it seem “fake.” So this “fake” kissing phenomenon is odd to me….as if they know we aren’t going to buy the smooch at all they cop to it’s “fakeness” right off the bat which seems counterproductive to the point of the kiss in the first place.
A kiss for me is a sacred act more so than even having sex. During sex you can detach, retreat into your imagination, even pretend to be somewhere else, or as Lady Gaga alludes, "Poker Face" your way through it. However, when someone is literally in your face that intimate connection is not so easily severed. Faking it for the cameras is low. Straight, Gay, or Bi-kissing for personal gain makes me sad. You should kiss someone ONLY if you mean it. Even if it's not on the lips, kissing another's cheek is not just something to throw away lightly either. Air kisses are silly, fun and usually have some campy glow to them which is fine, but these empty kisses this soulless smooching isn’t worth any amount of buzz.
Caring and loving someone truly seems to be passé. Any public display of affection is just another means to promote yourself, and not seen as a moment of tenderness. Christ listen to me go on…..waxing rhapsodic over the art of snogging.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Creeping....
So the summer of Brandy w/ a Y is nearly here and it is starting a bit earlier than planned. Tonight I am performing at Boots and Saddles in the Fagtastic Gay Pride Show!! I wasn't planning on performing until the campaign finished on June 30th. However the universe is doing crazy shit right now this alignment of Saturn/Libra and Uranus/Aries is pulling me into the surf of letting go of things that aren't working in my life and embracing those that do....
I said yes to this show without hesitation and take it as a sign that I won't bomb tonight because I am reaching for what truly makes me happy. If I do bomb well then, no one is going die and all I have to do is pop back up on the board and ride the wave into the shore of the New World, as an astrologically inclined friend recommended!!!
I said yes to this show without hesitation and take it as a sign that I won't bomb tonight because I am reaching for what truly makes me happy. If I do bomb well then, no one is going die and all I have to do is pop back up on the board and ride the wave into the shore of the New World, as an astrologically inclined friend recommended!!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Pass the Mints...
Last Monday I went to a benefit for The Mint Theater, they did a reading of The Naked Genius, by Gypsy Rose Lee. The original production in 1943 was directed by the legendary George S. Kaufman. His daughter Anne Kaufman was there and sat just a breath away from me. Truly the closest I will ever get to the Algonquin Round Table was in that small space between my banquette and her chair. My imagination just went nuts at thinking about what it must have been like to be a child surrounded by the Marx Brothers, George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin, Moss Hart, not to mention that most of his plays were made into movies.
Stage Door, one of my all time favorites with Katherine Hepburn, Ginger Rogers, Adolphe Menjou and Lucille Ball. I should have said something, anything, but what?? What do you say to someone who lived through the golden age of Broadway & Hollywood? How would someone like me even begin to start without sounding like "Man in Chair" with turrets. I kept my glee restrained within my chest masking it with permagrin and tried NOT to catch her eye for fear of giving her a stroke.
Kristen Johnston volunteered to star as Ms. Lee, from previous blogs you all know how I feel about the divine Ms. Johnston. Sadly the play isn't very good, but Kristen, as she does, pulled out all the stops and made the event hilarious. I got to meet and speak with her briefly. My friend Ned is her "Manny", not really I like to tease him about it, but he did introduce me and I managed not to come off as a complete idiot. I tried my best to just be myself and give my honest opinions and above all else tried to make her laugh. Ned offhandedly said, "I think she likes you more than she likes me." Untrue I cried.
In my opinion the play just doesn't challenge Kristen enough. She needs a play that will elevated her comic skills and unfortunately this piece is lacking. I mean Gypsy Rose Lee wrote it, the lady could shake her bits but turning a phrase wasn't her strong suit. Kristen gave the dialogue some much needed CPR and made the most of it. I admire her pursuit of a play that is worthy of her time and efforts. Unfortunately something BIGGER than herself, something so farcical and grand that would make her work to find more in every bit doesn't just fall into ones lap.
She kissed the back of my program and hugged me, which really showed me how tall she is, as her boobs sort of rested on top of my head. It's the first time I understood how it would feel to be a munchkin. Later she offered to autograph it for me, but I declined, I'm not that person, "I'd rather just be your friend I remarked." As she left wishing me all the best in whatever it is that I "do", I said, "keep shaken that mad jelly you'll find the right play." She looked at me so strangely, almost puzzled as if to say, "who is this tiny person with reams of witty banter & really big glasses?" Our paths just might cross again, you never know, I could write something worth her while.....
Stage Door, one of my all time favorites with Katherine Hepburn, Ginger Rogers, Adolphe Menjou and Lucille Ball. I should have said something, anything, but what?? What do you say to someone who lived through the golden age of Broadway & Hollywood? How would someone like me even begin to start without sounding like "Man in Chair" with turrets. I kept my glee restrained within my chest masking it with permagrin and tried NOT to catch her eye for fear of giving her a stroke.
Kristen Johnston volunteered to star as Ms. Lee, from previous blogs you all know how I feel about the divine Ms. Johnston. Sadly the play isn't very good, but Kristen, as she does, pulled out all the stops and made the event hilarious. I got to meet and speak with her briefly. My friend Ned is her "Manny", not really I like to tease him about it, but he did introduce me and I managed not to come off as a complete idiot. I tried my best to just be myself and give my honest opinions and above all else tried to make her laugh. Ned offhandedly said, "I think she likes you more than she likes me." Untrue I cried.
In my opinion the play just doesn't challenge Kristen enough. She needs a play that will elevated her comic skills and unfortunately this piece is lacking. I mean Gypsy Rose Lee wrote it, the lady could shake her bits but turning a phrase wasn't her strong suit. Kristen gave the dialogue some much needed CPR and made the most of it. I admire her pursuit of a play that is worthy of her time and efforts. Unfortunately something BIGGER than herself, something so farcical and grand that would make her work to find more in every bit doesn't just fall into ones lap.
She kissed the back of my program and hugged me, which really showed me how tall she is, as her boobs sort of rested on top of my head. It's the first time I understood how it would feel to be a munchkin. Later she offered to autograph it for me, but I declined, I'm not that person, "I'd rather just be your friend I remarked." As she left wishing me all the best in whatever it is that I "do", I said, "keep shaken that mad jelly you'll find the right play." She looked at me so strangely, almost puzzled as if to say, "who is this tiny person with reams of witty banter & really big glasses?" Our paths just might cross again, you never know, I could write something worth her while.....
Ingrid
This is Ingrid. My friend Kathryn's bike. If you see her around town, do say hi! She's very friendly....I have a bike as well. My boys tease me saying that BB is just a work of art that hangs on my wall, but it's not true. I have and do ride her through the streets of Manhattan especially in Central Park on the weekends. I even have a helmet so it's officially NOT art.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Nothing fishy here...
After our mermaid feast last night, the bartender gave us each a Fortune Teller Fish. Mine curled so much it looked like it had scoliosis....which according to the chart means that I'm extremely PASSIONATE. As a water pig nothing could be truer about me as a person. Both light and dark passions run through me only to surface under great restraint.
I think that should change I've been holding back most of my life and I'm not sure why? People with no PASSION annoy me like gnats. I can't understand why they bother living if they aren't at least driven by one overwhelming passion whether shared or explored in secret.
Then to seal my fortune we had just the right amount of chocolate pudding....mmmmmm thank you Mr. Bartender!!
Merry Maids Indeed!!
I pulled a hammy.
That's right while sitting at a bar having oysters and dreaming of redheaded "trannymaids". "Ye gods!" I get ahead of myself....here's how the evening unfolded.
Springing from my desk at quitting time, I dashed down to the subway caught the 6 and headed south towards the beach. Well not actually the shoreline but to the Mermaid Inn where I was to meet my gastronomic friend Kathryn. She had recently found out that everyday from 5:30 to 7pm you can enjoy oysters at the bar for a dollar each!!
My heart raced as I made my subterranean journey to shimmering salty bliss when we stopped in the tunnel and waited. Then we lurched forward into the 23rd street stop only to be told that the train would be going express at 14th street (a stop shy of my destination) DAGGERS!!!
Trying to remain calm as the clock ticked past 5:30, the baby leg and I went as fast as we could to 92 Second Avenue....feet don't fail me now!! Then I saw it....Ingrid, Kathryn's bike...already locked out front of the tavern. There would be no pushing or eye rolling for I knew as the gods know that Mars is hot for Aphrodite that Kathryn would have our places at the bar. Pheew. The MTA would not be my culinary foil this time.
I climbed up onto my perch and there they were the first 12 oysters of the evening.
I ordered a beer...which to my surprise also had a mermaid on it, she had red hair or wait is that a wig? Leave it to me to order a beer with a trannymaid on it!! She was fierce working those clam shells and giving me fantail face!!!
Kathryn and I giddy at our bounty could barely contain our delight so we continued to do so....after the 3rd dozen I looked at Kathryn and said, "Should you tell him or should I?" Our bartender who was fresh and friendly said, "Another?" As if we both were cracked from the same egg we said, "Yes please." The bus boys at this point peeked out of the kitchen to see who was eating oysters by the truck load!! Patrons came, ate and went, yet Kathryn and I sailed on...into 5 dozen oysters and for dessert a lobster roll.
We laughed a lot and talked of dreams and fancies. Traveling to Ireland and which grad schools would be best for a masters in poetry. Not only can Kathryn pound oysters like a sailor home on leave, but the bitch can turn a phrase. (this quite possibly will be her epitaph).
Oysters are like childhood to me, all my memories of Charleston and living on James Island with my parents hosting yet another oyster roast...Dad shucking them as fast as he could feeding my sister and I like baby birds. It's fitting that we squeezed this adventure in right before Father's Day....
Night night little mermaid kisses from the sea...see you next week!!
That's right while sitting at a bar having oysters and dreaming of redheaded "trannymaids". "Ye gods!" I get ahead of myself....here's how the evening unfolded.
Springing from my desk at quitting time, I dashed down to the subway caught the 6 and headed south towards the beach. Well not actually the shoreline but to the Mermaid Inn where I was to meet my gastronomic friend Kathryn. She had recently found out that everyday from 5:30 to 7pm you can enjoy oysters at the bar for a dollar each!!
My heart raced as I made my subterranean journey to shimmering salty bliss when we stopped in the tunnel and waited. Then we lurched forward into the 23rd street stop only to be told that the train would be going express at 14th street (a stop shy of my destination) DAGGERS!!!
Trying to remain calm as the clock ticked past 5:30, the baby leg and I went as fast as we could to 92 Second Avenue....feet don't fail me now!! Then I saw it....Ingrid, Kathryn's bike...already locked out front of the tavern. There would be no pushing or eye rolling for I knew as the gods know that Mars is hot for Aphrodite that Kathryn would have our places at the bar. Pheew. The MTA would not be my culinary foil this time.
I climbed up onto my perch and there they were the first 12 oysters of the evening.
I ordered a beer...which to my surprise also had a mermaid on it, she had red hair or wait is that a wig? Leave it to me to order a beer with a trannymaid on it!! She was fierce working those clam shells and giving me fantail face!!!
Kathryn and I giddy at our bounty could barely contain our delight so we continued to do so....after the 3rd dozen I looked at Kathryn and said, "Should you tell him or should I?" Our bartender who was fresh and friendly said, "Another?" As if we both were cracked from the same egg we said, "Yes please." The bus boys at this point peeked out of the kitchen to see who was eating oysters by the truck load!! Patrons came, ate and went, yet Kathryn and I sailed on...into 5 dozen oysters and for dessert a lobster roll.
We laughed a lot and talked of dreams and fancies. Traveling to Ireland and which grad schools would be best for a masters in poetry. Not only can Kathryn pound oysters like a sailor home on leave, but the bitch can turn a phrase. (this quite possibly will be her epitaph).
Oysters are like childhood to me, all my memories of Charleston and living on James Island with my parents hosting yet another oyster roast...Dad shucking them as fast as he could feeding my sister and I like baby birds. It's fitting that we squeezed this adventure in right before Father's Day....
Night night little mermaid kisses from the sea...see you next week!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Swwwweeet 16!!
Holy navel oranges!! It's been 16 yrs since I graduated college and spent my first summer doing professional theatre....it feels like yesterday I was wearing my Birkenstocks trapsing around Vassar College, living in a dorm with Ethan Hawke, Denis O'Hare, Deborah Rush & Jane Kaczmarek just to name a few. Well we all know what happened to them, but what the hell has happened to me???
I'm just a few weeks from finishing up my campaign at work, one last event to go and then, "It's the Summer of Brandy with a Y"!! I'm getting back on that road I started on and I'm not gonna stop, not for nobody.....You can't start your career like this and end up a glorified secretary without jumping in front of a bus.
Musical workshops:
Revelers by Beth Henley, directed by Leonard Foglia
Snakebit by David Marshall Grant, directed by Joe Mantello
The Fool and Her Fortune written and directed by John Patrick Shanley
Workshops:
Wasp and Romeo and Juliet at Antioch by Steve Martin,
directed by Barry Edelstein
Hand to Hand by Max Mayer, directed by William Foeller
Special presentation:
Raised in Captivity by Nicky Silver, directed by David Warren
A Fair Country by Jon Robin Baitz, directed by David Warren
The Quilling of Prue by Mary Gail, directed by Melia Bensussen
Truly one of the most amazing summers of my life. Let's make this summer the one I make the rest of my life AMAZING!!
I'm just a few weeks from finishing up my campaign at work, one last event to go and then, "It's the Summer of Brandy with a Y"!! I'm getting back on that road I started on and I'm not gonna stop, not for nobody.....You can't start your career like this and end up a glorified secretary without jumping in front of a bus.
Musical workshops:
Revelers by Beth Henley, directed by Leonard Foglia
Snakebit by David Marshall Grant, directed by Joe Mantello
The Fool and Her Fortune written and directed by John Patrick Shanley
Workshops:
Wasp and Romeo and Juliet at Antioch by Steve Martin,
directed by Barry Edelstein
Hand to Hand by Max Mayer, directed by William Foeller
Special presentation:
Raised in Captivity by Nicky Silver, directed by David Warren
A Fair Country by Jon Robin Baitz, directed by David Warren
The Quilling of Prue by Mary Gail, directed by Melia Bensussen
Truly one of the most amazing summers of my life. Let's make this summer the one I make the rest of my life AMAZING!!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tom & Vinnie at Don't Tell Mama's
These two are family. Not just as in "gay" but my family!!! As Vinnie heads off for 11 months at sea shaking his jelly on a cruise line I will watch this often, so I won't miss him as much. As for Tom well I can see him anytime!!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Vas ist das Gagaklein!
Nothing like a little Night Porter with your pop music!! Only here she looks like she's covered in Moe's. Wait? What? Not homo's, Moe as in Stooges....geez.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Handkerchief Code
This is one of my favorite gay history stories ever!!
Handkerchief code or hanky code (also known as bandana code and flagging) is a way of indicating, usually among gay male casual sex-seekers or BDSM practitioners in the leather subculture in the United States, Canada and Europe, whether they are a top or bottom, and what kind of sex they are seeking, by wearing cotton color-coded handkerchiefs (bandanas), usually in the back pocket or around the belt loop. Hanky code was widely used in the 1970s as a gay code, however nowadays it is also used by many bisexual, pansexual, and queer people.
Today the bandanas are worn almost exclusively in the rear trouser pocket or tied around the belt loop. The left side of the body for tops and on the right for bottoms; just as tops wear their keys on the left belt loop and bottoms on the right. In the past bandanas might be worn tied around the neck (with the knot positioned on either the left or right side); around the ankle (when wearing boots or when undressed); or on other parts of the body.
There is no universally understood color code, and regional codes vary widely. There is general agreement upon the colors for more common practices, particularly those with an intuitive relation between the color and the practice, such as yellow for urolagnia; brown for coprophilia; and black for SM, but no absolute consensus for less common practices.
It is also rumored that this is how the Gay Pride Flag was formulated...Rainbows for all kinks everywhere!!
I'd also like to thank Wikipedia for having such a through and complete color guide.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_code
Always check it before accessorizing or you might end up a pass around party bottom by mistake.!!
Handkerchief code or hanky code (also known as bandana code and flagging) is a way of indicating, usually among gay male casual sex-seekers or BDSM practitioners in the leather subculture in the United States, Canada and Europe, whether they are a top or bottom, and what kind of sex they are seeking, by wearing cotton color-coded handkerchiefs (bandanas), usually in the back pocket or around the belt loop. Hanky code was widely used in the 1970s as a gay code, however nowadays it is also used by many bisexual, pansexual, and queer people.
Today the bandanas are worn almost exclusively in the rear trouser pocket or tied around the belt loop. The left side of the body for tops and on the right for bottoms; just as tops wear their keys on the left belt loop and bottoms on the right. In the past bandanas might be worn tied around the neck (with the knot positioned on either the left or right side); around the ankle (when wearing boots or when undressed); or on other parts of the body.
There is no universally understood color code, and regional codes vary widely. There is general agreement upon the colors for more common practices, particularly those with an intuitive relation between the color and the practice, such as yellow for urolagnia; brown for coprophilia; and black for SM, but no absolute consensus for less common practices.
It is also rumored that this is how the Gay Pride Flag was formulated...Rainbows for all kinks everywhere!!
I'd also like to thank Wikipedia for having such a through and complete color guide.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_code
Always check it before accessorizing or you might end up a pass around party bottom by mistake.!!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Revive This.....
On September 29, 1926 - The Captive by Arthur Hornblow, Jr. (who would later marry Myrna Loy) opened on Broadway.
It's a play about a young woman's seduction by an older woman. This queer history fact amazes me. In all honesty the play probably isn't very good, it only ran for 160 performances. However, I am taken a back that in 1926 such a play could and was produced on Broadway. I guess the '20s really did roar!!
I'm going to try and find a copy and read it....look for a Queer Fact Update in future posts.
ps-Basil Rathbone was in the cast...aka Sherlock Holmes.
It's a play about a young woman's seduction by an older woman. This queer history fact amazes me. In all honesty the play probably isn't very good, it only ran for 160 performances. However, I am taken a back that in 1926 such a play could and was produced on Broadway. I guess the '20s really did roar!!
I'm going to try and find a copy and read it....look for a Queer Fact Update in future posts.
ps-Basil Rathbone was in the cast...aka Sherlock Holmes.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Inside the Actors Studio.....
It's sad to me that this teaching forum has just become another media platform to pitch your new movie. This show has been an "inside" look into some of the most amazing careers in the entertainment industry. Now, it seems as if Mr. Lipton has gotten to the end of the line of legends and is freely selling his soul to the highest bidder.
The latest Sean Combs episode made me feel dirty. Now, I'm not slighting Mr. Combs in anyway, he is growing into yet another discipline as an actor but the entire show leaned towards promoting, "Get Him To The Greek," literally showing us clip after clip of the film. They spoke briefly of his theatrical training and touched mostly on his musical career, which in itself is a journey worth noting.
However, there was NOT enough to talk about. In fact Sean did little talking at all. His mother spoke quite a bit as did his acting teacher. I know in some other episodes they have had a guest say hello, or comment on the performer but the two of them stole focus and took questions??? Making it seem more like, "This is Your Life."
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can make a long list of theatre & film professionals that deserve to be on that show. Who can impart a truth to acting and the reality of the working actor, not to mention playwrights or even the elusive producer or god forbid a "techie"? How about that an episode featuring a Broadway Stage Manager, an hour of invisible glue!! Priceless!!! I'm sure Ira Mont can tell a story or two that will blow you're hair back! Get it together Lipton or I'm going to send Will Ferrell over there to bitch slap you!! lol!
The latest Sean Combs episode made me feel dirty. Now, I'm not slighting Mr. Combs in anyway, he is growing into yet another discipline as an actor but the entire show leaned towards promoting, "Get Him To The Greek," literally showing us clip after clip of the film. They spoke briefly of his theatrical training and touched mostly on his musical career, which in itself is a journey worth noting.
However, there was NOT enough to talk about. In fact Sean did little talking at all. His mother spoke quite a bit as did his acting teacher. I know in some other episodes they have had a guest say hello, or comment on the performer but the two of them stole focus and took questions??? Making it seem more like, "This is Your Life."
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can make a long list of theatre & film professionals that deserve to be on that show. Who can impart a truth to acting and the reality of the working actor, not to mention playwrights or even the elusive producer or god forbid a "techie"? How about that an episode featuring a Broadway Stage Manager, an hour of invisible glue!! Priceless!!! I'm sure Ira Mont can tell a story or two that will blow you're hair back! Get it together Lipton or I'm going to send Will Ferrell over there to bitch slap you!! lol!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Appropo....
Since we kicked off June 2010, Pride is very much in my mind. It is so appropo that I am now going through my latest obsession which is everything and anything Lady Gaga! Tick tock I know, I'm behind again and it's not that I didn't know of her and enjoyed her music but I was just chalking her up as the newest “it” girl with a microphone. My better half on the podcast, Marc Teschic has been Gaga'd-out for sometime and I had previously rolled my eyes at his favor but now I find myself "getting" it.
As I sally forth into the Haus of Gaga I am uncovering a lot more than I ever expected. Depth and breath of purpose and artistry and HUMOR!! Thus, making my new discovery all the more sweet. The line in the Telephone video where the two guards after strip searching her remark, "I told you she didn't have a dick." "To bad," says the other....HI-LARIOUS! Plus I enjoy her making Beyonce her honey bee with Little Miss B “acting” like she doesn’t get it….but maybe she doesn’t. Le Trageek.
I also love finding out where artists get their inspirations from, I know mine come from anywhere at anytime (usually on sleepless quite nights when I can’t turn off the brain). Gaga shared recently in an interview over Memorial Day after she “took over” the FUSE network that “Poker Face” was inspired by her fantasizing about women when having sex with her then boyfriend who didn’t approve of said cerebral candy.
She said it as if she was asking for more tea. If it was solely for shock & awe then it worked because I could hear my eye lids blinking. Or it was a completely honest answer & why not say it without blushing? The bitch is free!
….and that’s your queer fact for today.
As I sally forth into the Haus of Gaga I am uncovering a lot more than I ever expected. Depth and breath of purpose and artistry and HUMOR!! Thus, making my new discovery all the more sweet. The line in the Telephone video where the two guards after strip searching her remark, "I told you she didn't have a dick." "To bad," says the other....HI-LARIOUS! Plus I enjoy her making Beyonce her honey bee with Little Miss B “acting” like she doesn’t get it….but maybe she doesn’t. Le Trageek.
I also love finding out where artists get their inspirations from, I know mine come from anywhere at anytime (usually on sleepless quite nights when I can’t turn off the brain). Gaga shared recently in an interview over Memorial Day after she “took over” the FUSE network that “Poker Face” was inspired by her fantasizing about women when having sex with her then boyfriend who didn’t approve of said cerebral candy.
She said it as if she was asking for more tea. If it was solely for shock & awe then it worked because I could hear my eye lids blinking. Or it was a completely honest answer & why not say it without blushing? The bitch is free!
….and that’s your queer fact for today.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Social Experiment.....
In the vein of, "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" The gang on Friday night was kicking it at Happy Hour, when we posed the question, "how long does it take everyone in a gay bar to “Growl” during Bad Romance, by Lady Gaga?"
Answer....13 secs. Really even before the refrain, all the little monsters where foaming at the mouth..Gaga oooolala indeed!
Answer....13 secs. Really even before the refrain, all the little monsters where foaming at the mouth..Gaga oooolala indeed!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Viewer Response
Dear NBC,Last night I accidentally stumbled across your show, 100 Questions. I was curious because I hadn’t heard a peep about it and now I know why. It’s a horrible Friends knock off with a laugh track and tired regurgitated situations.
You’ve dropped a boy by merging Ross and Joey into someone called Wayne. A good looking son of a billionaire who was been cut off from his family and is sleeping on the other boys couch, his name escapes me because he’s a Xerox copy of Chandler, he just annoys me basically because he’s NOT Matthew Perry.
The women are even worse. Charlotte Payne the central figure is “British”, gorgeous and after rejecting a marriage proposal at Yankee Stadium visa vie the Jumbo Tron & humiliating said boy friend has decided to go to a dating service for help finding the love of her life. She lives in a New York apartment bigger than Monica’s and the kicker she lives alone!!! WTF???
Then there’s the token Asian girl who is Ms. Payne’s “catering” partner? She’s underdeveloped and frankly shallow after initially rejecting a man simply because he’s an albino. The “Phoebe” is again a sad Xerox copy of the legendary Lisa Kudrow only extremely vain and myopic.
To top it off they hang out in a nameless bar NOT a coffee shop. NBC you'd do better in the ratings by just rerunning episodes of 30 Rock. Really, just do that....
Venting helps, but it still burning my eyes.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
3:15
Write me a letter a face in the hall
Hiding from someone afraid of the fall
And she's waiting for someone to take her back to where she came from
And she'll wait alone for hours she won't mind because there's someone
In the story she remembers she remembers in the letter
And the tears locked up inside her make her heart break open wider
Shuts her eyes and takes the picture from the wall
Probably one of my all time favorite songs ever. YAZ, Too Pieces.
Short, simple & ends with a dance break....well there's one in my minds eye at least.
Hiding from someone afraid of the fall
And she's waiting for someone to take her back to where she came from
And she'll wait alone for hours she won't mind because there's someone
In the story she remembers she remembers in the letter
And the tears locked up inside her make her heart break open wider
Shuts her eyes and takes the picture from the wall
Probably one of my all time favorite songs ever. YAZ, Too Pieces.
Short, simple & ends with a dance break....well there's one in my minds eye at least.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Lacking....
I haven't been blogging much, haven't "felt" like it. My mind has been too occupied with the crazy randomness of life. Trying to decode and distill it into blog form is daunting. Again I find myself shifting gears and pulling myself up & back into my DFY (do for yourself) positive living campaign. Simply put it's exhausting.
Depression is sooooo much easier. Hahaha!! However, June is on the horizon and as they say it will be busting out all over, especially with Gay Pride!!! I have a lot a want to accomplish this summer so let's get cracking...
Depression is sooooo much easier. Hahaha!! However, June is on the horizon and as they say it will be busting out all over, especially with Gay Pride!!! I have a lot a want to accomplish this summer so let's get cracking...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Thump, Thump.....
This chemical formula starts my heart in the morning. Without it I am a shell of hollow expectations and blurry eyes.....
Thoughtful Pennies
I found a penny made in the year of her birth. Then put it in a purse I bought for her as a present with the following on a tiny card.
This little penny came into the world when you did.
It has traveled through pockets and purses.
Paid for countless candies and kept people from breaking another dollar.
The tooth fairy has left it as payment for the tooth that finally fell out.
Loafers have sported it to English class and to a Sadie Hawkins dance.
It has seen the passing of presidents and touched more hands than a politician.
And now it has found you, like I did,
no wonder they are lucky when you pick them up.
This little penny came into the world when you did.
It has traveled through pockets and purses.
Paid for countless candies and kept people from breaking another dollar.
The tooth fairy has left it as payment for the tooth that finally fell out.
Loafers have sported it to English class and to a Sadie Hawkins dance.
It has seen the passing of presidents and touched more hands than a politician.
And now it has found you, like I did,
no wonder they are lucky when you pick them up.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Snacks.....
Today I realized where my phrase, "I like that snack," comes from. The phrase also works in the reverse as in, "I don't like that snack at all". I wish this was a happier blog but there in lies the truth of reality in the tiny unexpected joy of a vending machine in the hospital where my mother died. I spent a lot of time wandering the halls, feeling helpless, looking for comfort.
Ending up in the empty cafeteria, gated shut with only a duo of vending machines available for nourishment I realized that a "snack" can and is anything. In the stillness of the waiting, and wandering I found comfort in B14 or C11 even D13 would do in a pinch. There weren't enough calories in the world to save her, or me. Medication comes in all forms and depends on the patient. IV, pills or in the pre-bagged snack so solace can be found. One rule we who have lost the people we love understand is that when the pain moves beyond your understanding you will reach for anything or anyone, looking for relief.
It's been 15 years and I am a different person. Surviving this circle of Dante's hell isn't written anywhere. Which makes me think he left it out on purpose. We are who we are through example and rearing. I am very proud to be the daughter of Mariea & Doyle Rowell, even with all my imperfections and short comings at my core I know that I am a good person. If I had a wish it would be for more time, more love, more fights, more laughter, more truth, but all I really have is more pain.
I have tried, but I can't let them go. I don't want to. My memory fades, I can't remember their voices or some of the stories that made us a family. Frankly I'm scared, scared that what makes me me might not be around much longer. Yelling at giant Jesus doesn't help, but it can't hurt. He's been in the family longer and has probably heard it all so my bitching and moaning probably doesn't put him off so much.
What I need is meaning. Something we all search for, if I find it things might turn around. If not, well then we'll just have to wait and see. D13 aka Cheetos will just have to see us through another day.
Ending up in the empty cafeteria, gated shut with only a duo of vending machines available for nourishment I realized that a "snack" can and is anything. In the stillness of the waiting, and wandering I found comfort in B14 or C11 even D13 would do in a pinch. There weren't enough calories in the world to save her, or me. Medication comes in all forms and depends on the patient. IV, pills or in the pre-bagged snack so solace can be found. One rule we who have lost the people we love understand is that when the pain moves beyond your understanding you will reach for anything or anyone, looking for relief.
It's been 15 years and I am a different person. Surviving this circle of Dante's hell isn't written anywhere. Which makes me think he left it out on purpose. We are who we are through example and rearing. I am very proud to be the daughter of Mariea & Doyle Rowell, even with all my imperfections and short comings at my core I know that I am a good person. If I had a wish it would be for more time, more love, more fights, more laughter, more truth, but all I really have is more pain.
I have tried, but I can't let them go. I don't want to. My memory fades, I can't remember their voices or some of the stories that made us a family. Frankly I'm scared, scared that what makes me me might not be around much longer. Yelling at giant Jesus doesn't help, but it can't hurt. He's been in the family longer and has probably heard it all so my bitching and moaning probably doesn't put him off so much.
What I need is meaning. Something we all search for, if I find it things might turn around. If not, well then we'll just have to wait and see. D13 aka Cheetos will just have to see us through another day.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Broken Promises.....
At the last minute I got a call from Broadway. Well not Broadway really but my amazing friend Vinnie called to invite to me see Promises, Promises an hour or so before the curtain. I stripped outta my fat pants and my DVR induced Top Chef Masters Coma and got dressed, skipped across town to the Broadway Theatre and got ready to lose myself in the muzak of Burt Bacharach.The first act is highlighted only by some athletic choreography, and beautifully accurate period costumes. Sean Hayes isn’t the best singer and pulls out some “Jack” to reel the audience onto his side. Kristin Chenoweth is fine. Yup, I said it, she’s just fine. The songs aren’t great for her; in fact I have learned something about myself. I hate Bacharach, no really, the music is disjointed and lyrically a mess. One number, “Young Pretty Girl Like You” makes no sense at all, I guess it’s a comment on the “blind eye” we turn on our actual reality and just “smile” through it. But isn’t that why Fran/Kristin tries to kill herself in the first place?? Pass the valium and put mommy to bed.
However, I am glad we stayed through the intermission, the top of the second act I could have watched a dozen times. You might ask yourself, Brandy why? What makes Act II something to shout about? Katie Finneran as Marge MacDougall is what I am ecstatic about!!!
She saves the whole production on the wings of her owl stole. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, character actors are the kings & queens of any show. She won a Tony in 2002 for her performance in Noises Off as Brooke Ashton. She might just get nominated again, her drunken display of Christmas Eve lechery is one for all time. She got the biggest laughs and nearly a standing ovation upon her exit from “The Apartment”. A tour de force in a 2 scene bit roll, I’m smitten with this kitten and she has raised the bar on the barfly ideal!
See it if you must, but my revival money is on La Cage Aux Folles!! Whose new TV commercial is a hoot!! Kelsey Grammer ends it with, “and you should see me dance!” Makes me giggle everytime.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Suddenly Seeking Zaftig
Hell must be freezing over this was in the breakdowns.....
Large Actress (35-65)
Performer
Description: Seeking a large actress (250 pounds or more) for a major supporting role in a play reading, possible contract after. Performer should be comfortable using a southern (Texas) accent, and should be able to sing.
Of course it's for a student project at Columbia, but at least it's a start.
Large Actress (35-65)
Performer
Description: Seeking a large actress (250 pounds or more) for a major supporting role in a play reading, possible contract after. Performer should be comfortable using a southern (Texas) accent, and should be able to sing.
Of course it's for a student project at Columbia, but at least it's a start.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
5a.m.
Waking up choking is no fun, especially at 5a.m. My mind has been turning for days now and sleep is at a premium so losing out on two hours before my alarm is how I started this day. Kayla groggy and confused was like, "where are we going? is it time to poop?" Rubbing her tummy for a few moments sent her back to snoring. If only it was that easy for me.
I tried going back to sleep but couldn't so my mind went into creative mode. I wrote 3 new jokes out loud in front of no one. I'm a genius. Seriously, if I could have everyone over around 5:30a.m. to listen to my ramblings unfiltered and raw I wouldn't be sitting in this cube right now.
Tonight, we'll see if they be as funny at 7p.m. as they were at the crack of ass this morning. Of course I'll be exhausted but hey that's showbiz....
I tried going back to sleep but couldn't so my mind went into creative mode. I wrote 3 new jokes out loud in front of no one. I'm a genius. Seriously, if I could have everyone over around 5:30a.m. to listen to my ramblings unfiltered and raw I wouldn't be sitting in this cube right now.
Tonight, we'll see if they be as funny at 7p.m. as they were at the crack of ass this morning. Of course I'll be exhausted but hey that's showbiz....
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
420 As Defined by Wikipedia
420, 4:20 or 4/20 (pronounced four-twenty) refers to consumption of cannabis and, by extension, a way to identify oneself with cannabis subculture.
The term originated from a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California, United States in 1971. The teens would meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke marijuana at the Louis Pasteur statue.
According to an April 2009 article on the The Huffington Post, the group called itself the Waldos because its members hung out by a wall after school. Writer Ryan Grim, citing interviews with anonymous Waldos, claims that the group met by the statue at 4:20 p.m. to begin a search for a crop of abandoned cannabis growing near Point Reyes that they had heard about. They never found the stash, Grim writes, but smoked plenty of marijuana while looking for it.
My personal stance is that marijuana should be legal, taxed and not vilified in anyway. Alcohol does more damage to your body than smoking weed, but they have had a stronger lobby since prohibition was reversed!!!
It might not happen today or tomorrow or by the next 420 but someday soon America will be the land of the free. Someday....until then enjoy this hilarious and accurate view on natures little green gift.
The term originated from a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California, United States in 1971. The teens would meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke marijuana at the Louis Pasteur statue.
According to an April 2009 article on the The Huffington Post, the group called itself the Waldos because its members hung out by a wall after school. Writer Ryan Grim, citing interviews with anonymous Waldos, claims that the group met by the statue at 4:20 p.m. to begin a search for a crop of abandoned cannabis growing near Point Reyes that they had heard about. They never found the stash, Grim writes, but smoked plenty of marijuana while looking for it.
My personal stance is that marijuana should be legal, taxed and not vilified in anyway. Alcohol does more damage to your body than smoking weed, but they have had a stronger lobby since prohibition was reversed!!!
It might not happen today or tomorrow or by the next 420 but someday soon America will be the land of the free. Someday....until then enjoy this hilarious and accurate view on natures little green gift.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Take two Meryl's and call me in the morning....
One of my favorite remedies to the soul sucking repetition of life is to watch and rewatch the 2004 AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Meryl Streep. If you haven't seen it I suggest checking it out. I have an old VHS taping of it when it aired on Trio….is that channel even out there anymore??
It ignites my joy and reminds me that everyone starts somewhere. Everyone wears glasses and is insecure about one thing or another, but in the end you can become Meryl Streep. Not actually Meryl Streep but the idea of her, to capture exactly who you are in a moment, to refine yourself and become more than the sum of your parts. Better, smarter, faster and all for less than a million dollars. It also proves that greatness, on occasion, can come forth from New Jersey.
One of my life markers to "know" when I was famous enough was to be drawn by the late great Al Hirschfeld. Well, Albert held on as long as he could, nearly 100 years to ribbon my image across the pages of the New York Times; however we lost the master of line in 2003. Now in his stead I have figured out that making Meryl Streep laugh will be marker enough, perhaps over a bottle of wine as I reenact meeting her for the first time in the basement of the Powerhouse Theatre at Vassar.
Who can say when or where it will happen, but it will and then I will know what it's like to touch greatness without raising a finger.
These are two of favorite moments from the special...
It ignites my joy and reminds me that everyone starts somewhere. Everyone wears glasses and is insecure about one thing or another, but in the end you can become Meryl Streep. Not actually Meryl Streep but the idea of her, to capture exactly who you are in a moment, to refine yourself and become more than the sum of your parts. Better, smarter, faster and all for less than a million dollars. It also proves that greatness, on occasion, can come forth from New Jersey.
One of my life markers to "know" when I was famous enough was to be drawn by the late great Al Hirschfeld. Well, Albert held on as long as he could, nearly 100 years to ribbon my image across the pages of the New York Times; however we lost the master of line in 2003. Now in his stead I have figured out that making Meryl Streep laugh will be marker enough, perhaps over a bottle of wine as I reenact meeting her for the first time in the basement of the Powerhouse Theatre at Vassar.
Who can say when or where it will happen, but it will and then I will know what it's like to touch greatness without raising a finger.
These are two of favorite moments from the special...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Gay in Straight Sets!!
I did registration for an event this afternoon. A pretty easy function about 200 or so people attended. I got to see one of my favorite TV voices of all time Mary Carillo of HBO Real Sports. She's a retired tennis player who usually covers the Grand Slam Series and has been a staple covering other major sporting events.
She dresses like a sporty rockstar with an over the shoulder bag I coveted & so would Vinnie. ;-) She was rocking these awesome brown leather boots and "suede" pants. White open collar shirt with a sassy blazer with a crest.
Ok, so I know on wikipedia it says she was married for 15yrs but hello late in life lesbian. I always thought she was, until someone said no she was married...we duh you can be gay and married. Maybe I'm wrong but my gaydar was buzzing like an old gym teacher at Ruby Fruits. To each his/her own....but I just don't buy it.
She dresses like a sporty rockstar with an over the shoulder bag I coveted & so would Vinnie. ;-) She was rocking these awesome brown leather boots and "suede" pants. White open collar shirt with a sassy blazer with a crest.
Ok, so I know on wikipedia it says she was married for 15yrs but hello late in life lesbian. I always thought she was, until someone said no she was married...we duh you can be gay and married. Maybe I'm wrong but my gaydar was buzzing like an old gym teacher at Ruby Fruits. To each his/her own....but I just don't buy it.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Lady Always Knows When To Leave...
Yesterday, in my mind's eye, I saw four women standing on a veranda in white, gauzy dresses and straw-colored hats. They were having a conversation. And it was hot. Their hankies tucked in cleavages where eternal trickles of perspiration run from the female breastbone to exotic vacation spots that southern men often dream about. They were sweet-smelling, coy, cunning, voluptuous, voracious, delicious, pernicious, vexing and sexing... these earth sister/rebel mothers... these arousers and carousers. And I was filled with a longing to join them. But like a whim of Scarlett's, they turned suddenly and went inside, shutting me out with a bolt of a latch. And I was left only to pick up an abandoned handkerchief and savor the perfumed shadows of these women... these southern women. This Suzanne. This Julia. This Mary Jo and Charlene.
Rest in Peace my lovely Ms. Dixie Carter, you gave this southern belle a lot of laughter!! Long live Julia Sugarbaker on TV Land, WE & beyond!
Rest in Peace my lovely Ms. Dixie Carter, you gave this southern belle a lot of laughter!! Long live Julia Sugarbaker on TV Land, WE & beyond!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Happiness is....
getting paid to write.
getting laughs on stage.
loving beyond reason.
giving that little extra just because.
smiling at puppies.
old movies on demand.
Kayla cuddles before starting the day.
finding things that were lost.
remembering my joy.
hours that are wee.
three legged dogs.
holding tight to friends.
visits to far away places.
receiving drunk voice mails.
watching Kayla play.
believing that my dreams will happen.
Note to self: Repeat 1 - 16 everyday.
getting laughs on stage.
loving beyond reason.
giving that little extra just because.
smiling at puppies.
old movies on demand.
Kayla cuddles before starting the day.
finding things that were lost.
remembering my joy.
hours that are wee.
three legged dogs.
holding tight to friends.
visits to far away places.
receiving drunk voice mails.
watching Kayla play.
believing that my dreams will happen.
Note to self: Repeat 1 - 16 everyday.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Defining love...
I was asked tonight in a gay bar to define what my idea of love was...what I think is fitting is that it can be defined for me in a Barbra Streisand song from, "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever..."
My dearest love who existed in a dream
Till this evening when a wave came and swept me out to sea
None of the loves that you have known
Could prepare you for the love raging everywhere in me
For all the arms that have covered you the hands
That have touched you and the lips
You have lingered on before
Added together would be less than an olive
In the banquet of love I have in store
Love season to entice
Love with all the trimmings filled with spice
Love flavored to your whim
Served piping hot with all the trimmings...Ooo...
For I'll decode every breath and every sigh
Till your every lover's wish
Is fulfilled before it's made
Toss in some jealousy and doubt
Should it be required
Not to rest till there's nothing more desired
Thus loving as I do
Never, never will you ever be untrue
Having love with all the trimmings
Waiting home for you...
That's what love is to me. What is it to you?
My dearest love who existed in a dream
Till this evening when a wave came and swept me out to sea
None of the loves that you have known
Could prepare you for the love raging everywhere in me
For all the arms that have covered you the hands
That have touched you and the lips
You have lingered on before
Added together would be less than an olive
In the banquet of love I have in store
Love season to entice
Love with all the trimmings filled with spice
Love flavored to your whim
Served piping hot with all the trimmings...Ooo...
For I'll decode every breath and every sigh
Till your every lover's wish
Is fulfilled before it's made
Toss in some jealousy and doubt
Should it be required
Not to rest till there's nothing more desired
Thus loving as I do
Never, never will you ever be untrue
Having love with all the trimmings
Waiting home for you...
That's what love is to me. What is it to you?
Monday, March 29, 2010
PASSOVER aka SPRING BREAK!
It's that time of year again when the angel of death claims the first born and the sorority girls mating call, "I'm so drunk!" can be heard from coast to coast.
Luckily I work for the chosen people and double dip into the spring holidays. This year on tap is two days of Spring Cleaning. It's going to be raining in NYC till Weds so why not dust and chuck the Chametz outta the tree house.
Then provided there is sun I will take the bike out to Central Park and see if I can't make it around the urban oasis. Dead man's peak scares the sh*t out of me, but I will chug up as far as I can and then with great humility push Black Beauty (my bike) up the rest of the way. Baby steps, people, baby steps back to the Brandy with a Y circa 2006!!
Then possibly if I can find a sitter for Kayla, I might go up to CT and visit Laura Beth. She's up in exile rehearsing The Who's Tommy with no car, clearly stir crazy comes to mind but reinforcements are on the way, Mike is going up this weekend to scout with me following early next week. We'll see what I can work out.
I have a lot of odds and ends to get done and must focus because work is kicking into high gear and after Passover all bets are off until the campaign closes....Summer can't come fast enough.
Luckily I work for the chosen people and double dip into the spring holidays. This year on tap is two days of Spring Cleaning. It's going to be raining in NYC till Weds so why not dust and chuck the Chametz outta the tree house.
Then provided there is sun I will take the bike out to Central Park and see if I can't make it around the urban oasis. Dead man's peak scares the sh*t out of me, but I will chug up as far as I can and then with great humility push Black Beauty (my bike) up the rest of the way. Baby steps, people, baby steps back to the Brandy with a Y circa 2006!!
Then possibly if I can find a sitter for Kayla, I might go up to CT and visit Laura Beth. She's up in exile rehearsing The Who's Tommy with no car, clearly stir crazy comes to mind but reinforcements are on the way, Mike is going up this weekend to scout with me following early next week. We'll see what I can work out.
I have a lot of odds and ends to get done and must focus because work is kicking into high gear and after Passover all bets are off until the campaign closes....Summer can't come fast enough.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Lost Drunken Blog...
Every now and then I am inspired by the "spirits" that moved Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Joyce & Parker. I usually don't publish those imbibed blogs, but after reviewing a few this one struck me as a lesson learned. Do for you is my new mantra and it is causing great change in me. Painful, wonderful change that may take me where I finally want to go and be who I want to be, scratch that, who I am.
In a Split second...
It only took a second for me to see the truth. Funny how truth and personal reality are rarely in the same time zone? Walking into a bar and turning a corner is all it took for me to see what I hoped wasn’t there at all. However, there it was mocking me, the love that was nothing but a myth in my mind. She sparkled in his presence. I didn’t need to hear what they were saying I saw her eyes, she loves him. Blink. That quick and it was over.
She saw me, waving as if I didn’t plainly see them at the bar. I forced a smile and a hardy hello, she making a space for me before we decided to move to a table. I then decided to lose myself in the attractive red head accompanying us on what I like to call, awkward cocktails. Not sure why I even went.
It wasn’t a bad night. Not really…
In fact if anything the universe is more persistent in smacking sense into me than I am. So every time my mind wanders to Narnia I can recall the sting of that split second smack I got back in the bar. A dose of sense, of reason & of truth, which seem to cure my endless ability to live only in my head.
Yet, I fear my heart is lost in the White Witch’s castle where it is always winter but never Christmas. Unlike Edmund I don’t enjoy the Turkish delight at all. Where the hell is Aslan when you need him?
In a Split second...
It only took a second for me to see the truth. Funny how truth and personal reality are rarely in the same time zone? Walking into a bar and turning a corner is all it took for me to see what I hoped wasn’t there at all. However, there it was mocking me, the love that was nothing but a myth in my mind. She sparkled in his presence. I didn’t need to hear what they were saying I saw her eyes, she loves him. Blink. That quick and it was over.
She saw me, waving as if I didn’t plainly see them at the bar. I forced a smile and a hardy hello, she making a space for me before we decided to move to a table. I then decided to lose myself in the attractive red head accompanying us on what I like to call, awkward cocktails. Not sure why I even went.
It wasn’t a bad night. Not really…
In fact if anything the universe is more persistent in smacking sense into me than I am. So every time my mind wanders to Narnia I can recall the sting of that split second smack I got back in the bar. A dose of sense, of reason & of truth, which seem to cure my endless ability to live only in my head.
Yet, I fear my heart is lost in the White Witch’s castle where it is always winter but never Christmas. Unlike Edmund I don’t enjoy the Turkish delight at all. Where the hell is Aslan when you need him?
Love Poem?
Love is patient, love is kind.
Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.
Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not become angry easily.
Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails, unless you marry the wrong person.
Beware young lovers, beware….
Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.
Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not become angry easily.
Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails, unless you marry the wrong person.
Beware young lovers, beware….
Wordology.....
Sever + Seriously = Severiously
Todd severiously forgot to pay his taxes for six years.
Todd severiously forgot to pay his taxes for six years.
Monday, March 22, 2010
SHOWS SHOWS SHOWS
This weekend I saw two hilarious shows. The first was Stuffed and Unstrung the "dirty" puppet show at Union Square Theatre featuring the work of Brian Henson and his rowdy bunch of amazing improvisational puppeteers!
Laugh till your face hurts, pee your pants funny!!! I recommend this show to everyone over 18...plus the show will always be different because they take suggestions from the audience. It's truly genius and makes me wonder why I didn't think of spending my life with my hand up a puppet!!
PUPPET UP! PEOPLE!!! http://stuffedandunstrung.com
The second was Garfunkel & Oats Saturday night at Comix. A female musical comedy duo that is so talented it makes my head hurt. Their songs are more than just funny. They are smart and stupid and make you wanna take up the ukulele. Check out their videos on you tube you won't be disappointed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8
Finally, I ran lights and sound for the last Mr. A's Amazing Maze Play presented by the Ateh Sunday afternoon. I love that play. I love the people in that play. I love the theatre, note to self must do more, makes soul happy. Soul needs to be happy.
On the ticket for this week is The Soup Show!! Can't wait, naked ladies in a tub revealing more than just skin!!! The Cradle Will Rock!!
Laugh till your face hurts, pee your pants funny!!! I recommend this show to everyone over 18...plus the show will always be different because they take suggestions from the audience. It's truly genius and makes me wonder why I didn't think of spending my life with my hand up a puppet!!
PUPPET UP! PEOPLE!!! http://stuffedandunstrung.com
The second was Garfunkel & Oats Saturday night at Comix. A female musical comedy duo that is so talented it makes my head hurt. Their songs are more than just funny. They are smart and stupid and make you wanna take up the ukulele. Check out their videos on you tube you won't be disappointed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8
Finally, I ran lights and sound for the last Mr. A's Amazing Maze Play presented by the Ateh Sunday afternoon. I love that play. I love the people in that play. I love the theatre, note to self must do more, makes soul happy. Soul needs to be happy.
On the ticket for this week is The Soup Show!! Can't wait, naked ladies in a tub revealing more than just skin!!! The Cradle Will Rock!!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wordology.....
Begin + Handle = Begandle
Origin – most believe it is extracted from an Alanis Morissette song but this can not be confirmed or denied.
I can’t even begandle what Joanne did to her hair.
Origin – most believe it is extracted from an Alanis Morissette song but this can not be confirmed or denied.
I can’t even begandle what Joanne did to her hair.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
then comes marriage...
If my middle name and Seth MacFarlane's middle name got married we'd be.....Marsden Woodbury.
Hotness. I'd totally date that babe or dude? hmmmm.....
Hotness. I'd totally date that babe or dude? hmmmm.....
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Crumpled Dreams
You gotta be in it to win it.....but you probably won't. All you need is a dollar and a dream....these dreams are trash now but there's always another drawing right around the corner.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Dear Hallmark,
It saddens me that parents today must be reminded to encourage and support their children with your overpriced trinkets and cards. Back in the day all my mother needed was some lined paper and a pen to let me know how special I was, that all my dreams were possible, and that I too could conquer long division & sentence diagramming.
Children don't need bright colored paper to feel loved, or plastic buttons with sassy hamster sayings, not to mention "fill in the blank" cards where the parent only need to think briefly over the attributes their seed might have instead of coming up with their own words of praise.
Your interactive tips section and quintessential kid quiz on your website make me want to vomit. Prompts for brain dead parents make me wonder if they should have reproduced at all; especially if they can't think for themselves enough to channel their feelings for their children in a creative way. What's next an "app" for potty training, story telling and hugging so you won't have to interrupt your busy routine or cancel a pilates class?
Parents of the world if you buy this crap it will eventually wind up in a landfill. You do yourselves and your children a great disservice if you can’t even find the time or energy to get to know your kids. You are raising the future, give them a little piece of you and save your money and probably your children will think twice before putting you into a nursing home.
.
Children don't need bright colored paper to feel loved, or plastic buttons with sassy hamster sayings, not to mention "fill in the blank" cards where the parent only need to think briefly over the attributes their seed might have instead of coming up with their own words of praise.
Your interactive tips section and quintessential kid quiz on your website make me want to vomit. Prompts for brain dead parents make me wonder if they should have reproduced at all; especially if they can't think for themselves enough to channel their feelings for their children in a creative way. What's next an "app" for potty training, story telling and hugging so you won't have to interrupt your busy routine or cancel a pilates class?
Parents of the world if you buy this crap it will eventually wind up in a landfill. You do yourselves and your children a great disservice if you can’t even find the time or energy to get to know your kids. You are raising the future, give them a little piece of you and save your money and probably your children will think twice before putting you into a nursing home.
.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Cute but not necessary...
I'm sorry but if I was at the OSCARS you would not have to remind me to SMILE. My perma-grin would stretch wider than Bruce Vilanch's t-shirt collection laid end to end. My drool would be all over the red carpet. Or my nerves would kick in & I would stop breathing collapsing into a puddle of OMG!!!
Wordology.....
My friends and I have busted free of the confines of Websters Dictionary. Skimming along the lines of the Urban Dictionary we too have come up with and use words particular to our own social circles.
I have decided to share these with my readers as a way of spreading the good news of our vernacular conquests. Spice up your vocabulary and try them out.
Sneaky + Tricky = Snicky
Brenda has been snicky ever since puberty.
I have decided to share these with my readers as a way of spreading the good news of our vernacular conquests. Spice up your vocabulary and try them out.
Sneaky + Tricky = Snicky
Brenda has been snicky ever since puberty.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Beware Vicious Dog!
Is this the face of a vicious dog?
I hate people. Not all people, but people who are asshats and say stupid things to save face over their own ignorance.
Setting: I'm walking Kayla last night around the block for her evening constitutional. We are moving at a good pace when I see a black SUV stop in front of one of the many luxury high rise apartment buildings in my neighborhood.
The family starts to get out of the car, the doorman rushes to assist with bundles and open the rear car door. Kayla and I are casually walking past when a child bursts out of the car and startles Kayla, who "growls under her breath, not a bark, no teeth are bared she just let out a canine, "what the f#&k! geez you scared the shit out of me."
The "father" yells, “watch out” to the child in question, the mother & doorman all pipe in as if Old Yeller has sprung forth to murder Arliss Coates in his sleep...for f#&k sake we are just walking by....
Ignoring these breeders and their overreacting display of protective parenting we move on, when I hear from behind me the "father" remark, "Vicious dog." Out loud I say, "Vicious dog, how about vicious child?" A fellow dog walker is coming towards me and she laughs at my retort. I look at her and say, "Their kid jumps out of the car scaring my dog, and that makes her vicious." She shakes her head in understanding and disgust.
My suggestion SUV Family, find a child whisperer and keep the little ‘tard on a leash, he’s clearly dangerous and prone to fits of uncontrollable physical displays…..Vicious dog indeed.
I hate people. Not all people, but people who are asshats and say stupid things to save face over their own ignorance.
Setting: I'm walking Kayla last night around the block for her evening constitutional. We are moving at a good pace when I see a black SUV stop in front of one of the many luxury high rise apartment buildings in my neighborhood.
The family starts to get out of the car, the doorman rushes to assist with bundles and open the rear car door. Kayla and I are casually walking past when a child bursts out of the car and startles Kayla, who "growls under her breath, not a bark, no teeth are bared she just let out a canine, "what the f#&k! geez you scared the shit out of me."
The "father" yells, “watch out” to the child in question, the mother & doorman all pipe in as if Old Yeller has sprung forth to murder Arliss Coates in his sleep...for f#&k sake we are just walking by....
Ignoring these breeders and their overreacting display of protective parenting we move on, when I hear from behind me the "father" remark, "Vicious dog." Out loud I say, "Vicious dog, how about vicious child?" A fellow dog walker is coming towards me and she laughs at my retort. I look at her and say, "Their kid jumps out of the car scaring my dog, and that makes her vicious." She shakes her head in understanding and disgust.
My suggestion SUV Family, find a child whisperer and keep the little ‘tard on a leash, he’s clearly dangerous and prone to fits of uncontrollable physical displays…..Vicious dog indeed.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Strangers in Similarities
The more I listen to SMODcast the more I realize that Kevin Smith and I are more the same than we are different. Both of us are too fat to fly, both completely obsessed with film and what that means to us as audience members and writers. Both of us are still trying to figure out our origin stories. We both have incredible weakness for beautiful, funny, smart ass women that when they smile or laugh with us we WIN!! Geography seems to be the one big difference; he’s a Jersey boy and I’m a Southern girl. I mean that and he talks about his penis A LOT and I rarely mention my Vajayjay.
Recently I listened to his two SMODcasts which he recorded with his Mom (Grace). I learned that both our Dad’s were postmen, both of them loved to travel and with the help of extremely Catholic wives built a home where the children grew and prospered. Both ultimately leaving organized religion to the vultures of politics, extremists and pedifiles.We both had Uncle Mike’s, and loved one set of grand parents and hated the other. His mother and me were both adopted through Catholic Charities and had similar family falling outs over blood vs. water.
What really got me though was the way he made his mother laugh, especially after getting her high on some “baked” goods. It made me think of the time I came home from my first attempt to move to New York. My best friend from college was home as well and her parents put together a soup night for all of us to get together and hear me tell my tall tales of the big city. Well I went off!! It was the first time I think I performed stand up. They all were laughing so hard. You know that laugh were you almost can’t breathe and your face starts to hurt. When I heard that sound I remembered Mom's face, and that through the hysterical tears I saw her beam with pride. She didn’t live to see me do stand-up, but she knew I had some of their story telling magic, how I was going to use it was still a mystery.
Even Kevin’s delivery sounds like me telling a story…it’s freaking me out a little bit. How he swoops in before she can catch her breath and hits her again with something louder an even more outrageous. I’m totally jealous that Kevin gets to record this oral history with his Mom. I’d give anything to have Doyle & Mariea over to the treehouse to record a Work in Progress. Hahahaha!! Lord knows my father could tell hilarious stories and my mother’s dry wit could cut your funny bone in half.
There are so many holes in my memory that it would be great to be reminded of all that I’ve forgotten. All those crazy family trips, and near death experiences, pets through the decades, dead relatives, the crazy crap my mother wouldn’t through away etc…So thank you Kevin, thank you for sharing your family with me, it made me feel closer to what my life was before the treehouse years.
Recently I listened to his two SMODcasts which he recorded with his Mom (Grace). I learned that both our Dad’s were postmen, both of them loved to travel and with the help of extremely Catholic wives built a home where the children grew and prospered. Both ultimately leaving organized religion to the vultures of politics, extremists and pedifiles.We both had Uncle Mike’s, and loved one set of grand parents and hated the other. His mother and me were both adopted through Catholic Charities and had similar family falling outs over blood vs. water.
What really got me though was the way he made his mother laugh, especially after getting her high on some “baked” goods. It made me think of the time I came home from my first attempt to move to New York. My best friend from college was home as well and her parents put together a soup night for all of us to get together and hear me tell my tall tales of the big city. Well I went off!! It was the first time I think I performed stand up. They all were laughing so hard. You know that laugh were you almost can’t breathe and your face starts to hurt. When I heard that sound I remembered Mom's face, and that through the hysterical tears I saw her beam with pride. She didn’t live to see me do stand-up, but she knew I had some of their story telling magic, how I was going to use it was still a mystery.
Even Kevin’s delivery sounds like me telling a story…it’s freaking me out a little bit. How he swoops in before she can catch her breath and hits her again with something louder an even more outrageous. I’m totally jealous that Kevin gets to record this oral history with his Mom. I’d give anything to have Doyle & Mariea over to the treehouse to record a Work in Progress. Hahahaha!! Lord knows my father could tell hilarious stories and my mother’s dry wit could cut your funny bone in half.
There are so many holes in my memory that it would be great to be reminded of all that I’ve forgotten. All those crazy family trips, and near death experiences, pets through the decades, dead relatives, the crazy crap my mother wouldn’t through away etc…So thank you Kevin, thank you for sharing your family with me, it made me feel closer to what my life was before the treehouse years.
Time heals all wounds?
The baby leg is now officially 3 years old. After countless bloody socks, some eaten by Kayla, some not, I am proud to say that this was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. Not only does the small pin sized hole in my heal still leak but my "good" leg and hip are now suffering from the original problem I had in the baby leg. Plus I know exactly when it is going to rain so Janice Huff, give me a call if the Doppler is letting you down.My secret wish is to win the lotto, buy a car and take Kayla to an amazing spa where they will rub my poor broken muscles and tendons and restore me to my fighting weight. Sitting in an ice bath and doing hours of pilates sounds like heaven right now.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
BLOG #28
I set out to blog everyday for the month of February and this is the last one. Due to birthday celebrations and the fact I didn't have this idea till the 2nd I did double up some days and was blog free on others. Yet here we are at 28 entries and to tell you the truth it was a great exercise and now I feel that there is no reason I shouldn't be writing "something" everyday.
Writing makes me happy. Turning a phrase and finding my way to the end of a full, rich and structurally sound paragraph makes me feel that if read allowed I am seen & understood. That life isn't a question of, "is that all there is?" but a gift to express what it is that makes me, me.
All the foibles and the imperfections, the strengths and the weaknesses, the humor and the pain laid out in simple font for all the world to read. Bringing to life the stories that I want to tell, and giving them a new space outside the void of my teaming mind of unsaid dialogue and unseen landscapes.
So bring on March, she maybe coming in like a lamb but I am looking forward to freeing a lion across the pages.
Writing makes me happy. Turning a phrase and finding my way to the end of a full, rich and structurally sound paragraph makes me feel that if read allowed I am seen & understood. That life isn't a question of, "is that all there is?" but a gift to express what it is that makes me, me.
All the foibles and the imperfections, the strengths and the weaknesses, the humor and the pain laid out in simple font for all the world to read. Bringing to life the stories that I want to tell, and giving them a new space outside the void of my teaming mind of unsaid dialogue and unseen landscapes.
So bring on March, she maybe coming in like a lamb but I am looking forward to freeing a lion across the pages.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Adventure Day 2010
For her birthday Julia Moss and I took Madeleine Maby out for an adventure day. Now if you have not been fortunate enough to have an adventure day. Here is a basic definition: a day in which a friend or friends plan your next 24 to 48 hours. Said recipient of the day does not know where you are taking them and what will happen. All details of such a day are confidential amongst the participants of the day. Therefore the following picture is all you get....
beautiful faces up to no good.....
beautiful faces up to no good.....
And the winner is.....
Thanks to beautiful friends I might actually be ready for the Oscars this year. We are little more than a week out from the Gay Super Bowl and I can't wait!!! Alec & Steve bring it on, I'm ready to see what silliness you too chuckle heads are gonna pull. My guess is matching Avatar suits in a big musical number with jazz hands. Just an idea....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Packing & Painting...
Wednesday night I was summoned to help finish painting a friends room. As we know I love a task, plus I was rewarded with beer & pizza so all in all a good trade. It seems I have inherited my mothers skill for edging and painting into tiny places without smearing. Details are key in all things and must be paid a steady hand.Time moves forward but somethings are still the same, when packing the best containers are made by Hefty. I don't think I know a soul who I have helped move that didn't use the time honored tradition of stuffing garbage bags full of clothes before pressing on to the next abode.
Hey if it's not broke don't fix it....
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Empathy....
Mine grows stronger with every summer. I really must be turning into my mother.
Never being an emotional child or adolescent I am surprised how quickly I can be moved by the feelings of others or just by Morgan Freedman's voice over’s for Olympic Visa commercials.
When my friends get bad news or are having a hard time it really affects my well being. My suck it up/walk it off attitude is waning. Could it be a mothering instinct that’s kicking in? Horrifying!! Whatever is going on, I hope it makes me a gentler, kinder soul. But really Morgan you gotta stop, my weeping is scaring the dog.
Never being an emotional child or adolescent I am surprised how quickly I can be moved by the feelings of others or just by Morgan Freedman's voice over’s for Olympic Visa commercials.
When my friends get bad news or are having a hard time it really affects my well being. My suck it up/walk it off attitude is waning. Could it be a mothering instinct that’s kicking in? Horrifying!! Whatever is going on, I hope it makes me a gentler, kinder soul. But really Morgan you gotta stop, my weeping is scaring the dog.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
What's in a name?
I've blogged before about how I have so many monikers, legal, nick and other wise. My aunt always thought my stage name should be just Marsden! Like Cher or Madonna but I don't have the gumption or the tits for that bold self aggrandizing proclamation.
So this morning while "fagging" out with a co-worker over the shows we need and or want to see, A Behanding in Spokane came up, we decided my actor name should be Marsden Kazan. I’m just joining the family, why not? I mean I could be some bastard outta Kazan, who knows how far and wide the seed of theatrical genius was spread. Look what Tiger did and he’s just a golfer. (hahaha I almost typed gopher…) My only fear is that it makes me sound like a magician and rhymes to easily with SHAZAM & KABLAM, which may or may not be a good thing to see in Variety.
So this morning while "fagging" out with a co-worker over the shows we need and or want to see, A Behanding in Spokane came up, we decided my actor name should be Marsden Kazan. I’m just joining the family, why not? I mean I could be some bastard outta Kazan, who knows how far and wide the seed of theatrical genius was spread. Look what Tiger did and he’s just a golfer. (hahaha I almost typed gopher…) My only fear is that it makes me sound like a magician and rhymes to easily with SHAZAM & KABLAM, which may or may not be a good thing to see in Variety.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The BAFTA'S
Are more English than I thought....I was expecting an OSCAR like ceremony but it was more like a quick pint at the pub with your mates only with Manolos and paparazzi.
Everyone was dressed up, but the "production" value was nil. One host, one set, in an Opera House from the 1600’s, tiny little red carpet = no big whoop. Also, most of who won were indeed English. Am I missing something? Are the BAFTA's just a circle jerk for Brits. I mean there are not that many categories and one of them is BEST ENGLISH FILM. There is a FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE category, awkward title to say the least, which is sort of inclusive but really just a tip of the hat to foreigners.
Plus, it's sponsored by Orange Mobile Phones.....which takes a bit of luster off the ha'penny don't ye think? Does Kodak sponsor the Oscars?? Am I too glamoured over by star power that I don't know that our golden boy is also big pimping for corporate pockets?
Hmmmmm....computer says, "I dunno." (Little Britain Bastardization) Overall unimpressive except that Kate Winslet was drop dead gorgeous and something horrible has happened to Rupert Everett’s face. Ho- Hum dear friends from across the sea…..see you in La La Land for the BIG SHOW!!
Everyone was dressed up, but the "production" value was nil. One host, one set, in an Opera House from the 1600’s, tiny little red carpet = no big whoop. Also, most of who won were indeed English. Am I missing something? Are the BAFTA's just a circle jerk for Brits. I mean there are not that many categories and one of them is BEST ENGLISH FILM. There is a FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE category, awkward title to say the least, which is sort of inclusive but really just a tip of the hat to foreigners.
Plus, it's sponsored by Orange Mobile Phones.....which takes a bit of luster off the ha'penny don't ye think? Does Kodak sponsor the Oscars?? Am I too glamoured over by star power that I don't know that our golden boy is also big pimping for corporate pockets?
Hmmmmm....computer says, "I dunno." (Little Britain Bastardization) Overall unimpressive except that Kate Winslet was drop dead gorgeous and something horrible has happened to Rupert Everett’s face. Ho- Hum dear friends from across the sea…..see you in La La Land for the BIG SHOW!!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
44th Anniversary: Groceries, really groceries???
After leaving work yesterday feeling like crap and thinking all I can successfully do is let people down and fail. I went home and held my Kayla, cried, cried and cried some more. At first I chalked up my over reaction to screwing up an excel spread sheet at work to the fact my "lady time" is due any minute. That it's just the moans giving me the mental menstrual business.
Waking up from a brief cry coma I got up, put on my overalls and walked Kayla who seemed more stressed than me, she's doesn't like it when I get upset, hell neither do I. The fresh air felt good on my tear strained face and I started to push away the idea that putting my head in the oven wouldn't be such a bad idea. Clearly I've read too much Anne Sexton.
I ducked into a corner store to buy a lotto ticket with the lone dollar I knew I had in my wallet. My dollar and a dream fantasy was that I would go into work on Monday and quietly say shabbat shalom and become a financially independent artist living on the Mega Dream Dole. Hahahaha!! As we left I glanced down at the quick pick numbers only to see the date blazing across the pink background.
February 19, 2010.
Today is their anniversary. I had completely forgotten, or had I? Did my body know it needed to cry without my minds conscious acknowledgment. Did my subconscious simply say, "I've got this one", this year. Only the grief came up anyway. Whatever psycho babble you wanna prescribe to it, my life will always feel half full without their love and support. What's that song lyric, "Not a day goes by, not a single day...." Adding on top of that yet another birthday passing and still so much undone and unsaid. I'm surprised I don't cry uncontrollably everyday.
I wear their wedding rings, sometimes together on my left hand, sometimes one on each as if they are my magic guardians protecting me, watching over me...I know they are I just wish it was from the other room and not the other side.
Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!!
ps-the traditional gift for your 44th Anniversary is Groceries, I laughed out loud when I looked it up especially because your 43rd is Travel and 45th is Sapphires. Guess I'm off to D'AGS.
Waking up from a brief cry coma I got up, put on my overalls and walked Kayla who seemed more stressed than me, she's doesn't like it when I get upset, hell neither do I. The fresh air felt good on my tear strained face and I started to push away the idea that putting my head in the oven wouldn't be such a bad idea. Clearly I've read too much Anne Sexton.
I ducked into a corner store to buy a lotto ticket with the lone dollar I knew I had in my wallet. My dollar and a dream fantasy was that I would go into work on Monday and quietly say shabbat shalom and become a financially independent artist living on the Mega Dream Dole. Hahahaha!! As we left I glanced down at the quick pick numbers only to see the date blazing across the pink background.
February 19, 2010.
Today is their anniversary. I had completely forgotten, or had I? Did my body know it needed to cry without my minds conscious acknowledgment. Did my subconscious simply say, "I've got this one", this year. Only the grief came up anyway. Whatever psycho babble you wanna prescribe to it, my life will always feel half full without their love and support. What's that song lyric, "Not a day goes by, not a single day...." Adding on top of that yet another birthday passing and still so much undone and unsaid. I'm surprised I don't cry uncontrollably everyday.
I wear their wedding rings, sometimes together on my left hand, sometimes one on each as if they are my magic guardians protecting me, watching over me...I know they are I just wish it was from the other room and not the other side.
Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!!
ps-the traditional gift for your 44th Anniversary is Groceries, I laughed out loud when I looked it up especially because your 43rd is Travel and 45th is Sapphires. Guess I'm off to D'AGS.
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