Name Change!

You are now reading the witty banter 

of the: URBAN GIRDLE

I am retiring, "The ramblings of a semi-sober mind...." and changing my blog title to URBAN GIRDLE! Every city girl need to be trussed up and put together to survive out here in the wilds of Manhattan and Urban Girdle is here to help!

 

Sandy, Sexy Visions Fluttering by...

On occasion I see in my minds eye the video of a song that grips my imagination. My current obsession is Lady Gaga's, "Americano". AMERICANO - Lady Gaga She describes the record as "a big mariachi techno-house record, where I am singing about immigration law and gay marriage and all sorts of things that have to do with disenfranchised communities in America".

As a kid I was mesmerized by old movies a gift from my mother and the lazy Sunday afternoon. This song immediately brought back in glorious Technicolor Tyrone Power & Rita Hayworth in Blood & Sand. While bull fighting is not something I support in anyway, it is one of those dangerous taboo's that is fraught with sexual tension. Between man and beast, between the matador and the crowd, so I see this updated love story playing out on the sands of some dusty forgotten arena. The costuming alone is making me quiver with excitement & possibility which is odd considering I only shop at Old Navy. I also think Eva Mendes should play Lady Gaga’s love interest, “I met a girl in east LA, In floral shorts as sweet as May, She sang in eights in two-bar chords, We fell in love, but not in court”.

So I'm just putting it out there...as part of my video wish list.
I’m also available for consultation on tracks 6 & 7.

88 Keys & Whiskey

I regret it. She told me I would someday, and now I do.

The only keys I play for 8hours a day begin with QWERTY and end with a ? Which is all I seem to be able to do lately is ask the question over and over how did I get here? A poet clown masquerading as a glorified secretary in a world which she has no real place.

But this song in particular makes me wish that I had taken those piano lessons on my Daddy's upright, but foolishly I couldn't be bothered. I mean in my defense I do have hobbit hands that lack the required digital extension to really lay it down on a Steinway.

So it's just me clicking away the hours in excel instead of banging out a tune drenched in Jack or Jim....ok I'm still drenched in Jack or Jim I'm just not sitting at a piano.....You & I

"You taste like whiskey when you kiss me owww, I’ll give up anything again to be your baby doll."

A Public Institution

Getting free tickets to Shakespeare in the Park is one of the reasons I heart New York. A cool June evening under the stars with a dear friend (Ned Noyes) and the words of the Bard mixing with the nightingales, jet engines, barking dogs, & drunk ultimate Frisbee players rejoicing in their ultimate attempts at gravity make it an experience NOT to be missed. 

However last night, Measure for Measure was on the bill. Ned and I tried to recall the synopsis of the story but couldn't quite remember who was going to do what to whom? Fornication is the trial by fire in which all the characters must fall beneath or rise above. The opening was quite titillating with leather clad, anatomically correct devils making their way to a bed that was rising from the floor. Pulling back the sheet to reveal an orgy of some degree I turned to Ned and said, "OOOO fun it's like a Lady Gaga video." I was sssshed immediately by an acutely aware geriatric. 

Unfortunately that was the highlight of this contradictory tale of unlikable characters who vacillate from one side of the moral compass to the other while not making a rational decision about anything in their lives. No wonder it's considered one of Shakespeare's "problem" plays. There's no focus and it never gets tragic enough or funny enough to make you care enough. 

Ned and I waited for our leather Lucifers to return and make a scene, but they didn't. They didn't even show up for the curtain call. Probably had a hot session at the Cock scheduled and needed to bolt early. Wish I had…because sitting behind us were the "Deliverance Twins" seriously, pot bellied hill people with really bad teeth who burped and slurped at food? Maybe? I'm not sure, I couldn't bear to turn and see what they were consuming, possibly that missing girl from Westchester? 

All I know is that my mother's voice was ringing in my ears, "Don't they teach children to chew with their mouths closed anymore?" Every suckle and wisp of air that was inhaled through the enameled, unbridled stalactites that posed as teeth wore on my sanity. It was only after we adjourned to the restroom that I thought of the perfect thing to say, “Sir! Dare I say you suck upon your teeth as if they were a maid but by my troth it stands in reason that your lips have known NO maid in any season!" 

Hopefully, if I manage to get tickets to All’s Well That Ends Well, it will do just that END WELL.  

My biggest problem....

Kindness and generosity.

I actually think when I display these qualities that they will be returned. That's my problem. I need to remember to do them just for me. The people I show these attributes to will in most cases take advantage and run into the night with my hot nuggets of love, understanding and compassion with them like schwag from an event.

As if in some way they are entitled to it, "sure I deserve it, it was free after all" and it should be free, but I seem to log it away in some account book as a debt to be repaid. Downfall!! The bigger picture is that those random acts of kindness are really for me because something in me wanted to do it. I wanted to express some charity to someone in my life. The end. Let it go, and enjoy the feeling of being kind.

I take things way to personally and just need to be for myself. Wow! Oprah has only been gone a few days and my Deepak Chopra seems to be backing up. Is there a cleanse for that? Well, that's one to grow on, work on and hopefully change in my journey so if you see me tallying up a bill say, "remember this one's on you."

March of the Remakes

It continues....the pursuit of Hollywood to remake every movie I ever loved as a child. Fright Night a classic from the '80s now recreated staring Colin Farrell as the blood thirsty neighbor from hell. Even though I love David Tennant & Anton Yelchin they really can't hold a candle to the vampire vanquishing duo of Roddy McDowell & William Ragsdale (who's now on Justified!) not to mention Amanda Bearse who was still straight back then!! Oh is nothing sacred? Even the undead?

The twenty-tens have glossed over the jagged torn cartoonish edges of young death and destruction as illustrated by how different the movie posters are:

Now with the sleek sexiness of Twilight invading all things unholy & eternal we will surely not be treated to oversized vampiric mouths or gallons of gooey mystery gak. It's too bad, from the original I learned how important it is NOT to invite just anyone into your home. I'm sure it's saved me from an unwanted bite or two, plus really if you watch the trailer there doesn't seem to be a need to see the movie at all, thanks for saving to $14.50 Dreamworks SKG.

Fright Night 2011

The Cop, the Medical Examiner & Everything in Between

For some strange reason I am getting a lot of Cagney and Lacey energy from the internet this week. First yesterday's amazing photo of  Tyne Daly as Maria Callas in Master Class at MTC. Then this popped up from Rosie O'Donnell's Instagram twitter photo feed.....of the original crime fighting broads hanging....somewhere near Rosie. lol.

Last night after a long day at the mines I caught a Law & Order SUV Marathon that just made me want the Rizzoli & Isles season two premiere to be tonight and not Monday, July 11. I might not make it. I miss my sassy crime stopping non-lesbian lesbians. Almost as much as Mary Beth & Christine.