Yesterday was Kathryn's 30th Birthday, most of the crew is still away on holiday but I think we managed to give the old girl a great time! We met up at the Spotted Pig for brunch which was AMAZING! There I met Jen & David, who I gelled with instantly. I love it when you meet strangers and within 15 to 20 minutes you are laughing and carrying on like you've been mates for eons.
Of course as usual I was a little nervous about hanging with new people. Sometimes I “turtle” up when confronted with the unknown. Happily that did not happen and we ate our faces off. Might I recommend the corned beef hash with two pouched eggs…heaven on a fork!
David left us, and the 3 ladies had another round before going to see Alvin Alley at City Center. There Lauren met up with us and we enjoyed an afternoon of dancing by people who have no body fat. Their bodies move like I have never seen a body move. The final movement was my favorite I was on the edge of my seat, literally. I can't believe I waited this long to see this company, truly inspiring me to tears.
After we toddle off back downtown to No Name Bar where the evening took off, we were joined by the Montgomery's - Sara & Christopher - two of my favorite siblings on the planet. The 6 of us commandeered a table and that's when I turned up the heat & went en fuego!!!
If I could be as funny as I am with my friends as I am onstage I wouldn't be sitting in this Jew cube right now. Stuff I'd never thought of or said out loud before flew out on me....I impressed myself and that's hard considering my inner critic is a raving bitch with body & abandonment issues. So this is my quest for 2010 to be relaxed and free on stage, to cut the fear and BS and just let it out!!
During the show there was a segment where the dance was accompanied by a voice over. This strong resonating black woman who would make Oprah tremble said, “Spirit is dance, dance is movement, life moves forward…..What are you waiting for?” Cue the goosebumps….
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Intent....
They want what they can't have just like me.
I have watched the most beautiful women in my life throw themselves at men who may or may not catch them. If they do well then it can go either way, they are either swept up by love or tossed away after a one night stand. Regretfully I have seen more of the latter than the former.
Which begs my question, why?
When a women sets her intent on you it is like a warm breath on the back of your neck. A sparkle in her eye says, "yes, tonight it's you." When that happens at least for me it is like an unexpected bouquet that arrives at the office. An unbelievable gift that needs no COD. She has seen something in me that makes her desire rear up and for lack of a better word "want" me. It's the best feeling in the world next to laughter.
So what puzzles me is the heaps upon heaps of men who toss that intent aside. Who use it up like a wet nap and then proceed on to the next. Is it the urge to spread the DNA amongst the flowers before they are no longer potent? Can that really be an excuse anymore?
I have been passed over so many times for a fleeting chance at some man who shows the slightest of interest. Which is my own fault for only really fishing in the straight ponds. Since lesbians only look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears; I troll where I know that heartbreak lurks but in that rare moment of truth the sweetest gifts are found. None the less I feel that men if they would just pause and give a woman a chance to blossom in the light of love would reap the rewards that they to long for whether they admit it or not.
It's not that hard fellas, really, to make a women love you, it only requires honesty, a sense of humor and a grand gesture. Which really doesn't have to be that grand just a piece of your heart.
I guess I am writing this because I have been the shoulder on which so many of my dear friends have cried buckets of tears over men who just never got it. Who never paused to see them, to stop and say you are more than just a vessel for my relief. You are a person who needs and wants more from me. The art of wooing seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur and that to me is the saddest thing of all.
I have watched the most beautiful women in my life throw themselves at men who may or may not catch them. If they do well then it can go either way, they are either swept up by love or tossed away after a one night stand. Regretfully I have seen more of the latter than the former.
Which begs my question, why?
When a women sets her intent on you it is like a warm breath on the back of your neck. A sparkle in her eye says, "yes, tonight it's you." When that happens at least for me it is like an unexpected bouquet that arrives at the office. An unbelievable gift that needs no COD. She has seen something in me that makes her desire rear up and for lack of a better word "want" me. It's the best feeling in the world next to laughter.
So what puzzles me is the heaps upon heaps of men who toss that intent aside. Who use it up like a wet nap and then proceed on to the next. Is it the urge to spread the DNA amongst the flowers before they are no longer potent? Can that really be an excuse anymore?
I have been passed over so many times for a fleeting chance at some man who shows the slightest of interest. Which is my own fault for only really fishing in the straight ponds. Since lesbians only look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears; I troll where I know that heartbreak lurks but in that rare moment of truth the sweetest gifts are found. None the less I feel that men if they would just pause and give a woman a chance to blossom in the light of love would reap the rewards that they to long for whether they admit it or not.
It's not that hard fellas, really, to make a women love you, it only requires honesty, a sense of humor and a grand gesture. Which really doesn't have to be that grand just a piece of your heart.
I guess I am writing this because I have been the shoulder on which so many of my dear friends have cried buckets of tears over men who just never got it. Who never paused to see them, to stop and say you are more than just a vessel for my relief. You are a person who needs and wants more from me. The art of wooing seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur and that to me is the saddest thing of all.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Funny Comma Genius!
My dear friend Ned Noyes was starring (sorry past tense but the show closed on Sunday...wah) with Kristen Johnston in "So Help Me God!" at the Lucille Lortel Theatre.
I was lucky enough to see this forgotten 1929 knee slapping comedy. Now, I was a KJ fan before I saw this show, in addition to her as the ground breaking tranny alien in 3rd Rock from the Sun and her turn as Lexi Featherston in Sex and the City, the aging party girl who falls out a window....genius! I have also seen her in "Aunt Dan & Lemon," and "The Baltimore Waltz." The kids got theatre chops and is a member of the Atlantic Theatre Company!
Well after the show Ned, LB & I scurried off to Cowgirl Hall of Fame for some margaritas and chit-chat. Needless to say I gushed about Ms. Johnston, she seriously can turn a laugh with the smallest gesture or phrase. One of my favorite scenes is when her egomaniac character is so in love with her self well see below....
Ned turned to me after my analysis of her performance and said, "send me an email and I will forward it to her."
You see Ned and Kristen are sort of BFF's, I mean he spent Thanksgiving with her at her CT home. I mean COME ON!!! Could you just die?
After my initial draft to Ned to make sure it wasn't too "crazy" or over the top this is the correspondence that followed....
SO HELP ME YOU'RE WONDERFUL
Ned!!
Laura Beth and I just wanted to say again how much we enjoyed the show last night. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. You and Kristen have great chemistry & should work together again. I don't know how you look into her face every night as she assaults you with her amazing wit and not crack up laughing like a little girl.
I've see Kristen in a few shows over the years; The Baltimore Waltz, Aunt Dan & Lemon and she just gets better and better. She has such an amazing presence and can carve out the smallest bits of business to send you into stitches. There is no replacement for Bea Arthur in the canon of theater & television, but Kristen is making her way into finding her own spot on the list of funniest women EVER! Do let her know we are rooting for her, you and the company of "So Help Me God," I can't believe we had to go all the way back to '29 to find a smart, hilarious social comment comedy. hahah!
love your jelly!!
--
~brandy rowell
NED TO KRISTEN JOHNSTON
from my friends last night - read if you're ever having a bad day :)
KRISTEN JOHNSTON TO NED
UMM.
That made my fucking day.
Can she be the Times critic?
(I moved this email to "shit to look at when life sucks" box.)
PS She is the 3rd person in as many weeks to compare me with the late, great, muumuu wearing Ms Arthur.
Better than what I also sometimes get...."oh my god, I just LOVE your Jenny Craig commercials!!!!"
Kid you not.
Once a month, at least.
pps...I assume Brandy's a woman...or a drag name. But I gotta say, in my whole life, I've only heard the name "Bea Arthur" pass thru the lips of a gay boy. So it's throwing me.
------------
The fact that she thinks I am either a Drag Queen or a Gay Boy means I can die happy! Plus technically if for some reason she has her head "in the oven" my tiny email could save her life!!
A bunch of Broadway producers saw the show the final week I hope one of them has the good sense to invest in this jewel of a production. It would be a shame for it to go back into a desk drawer and not be done for another 80 years!!
I was lucky enough to see this forgotten 1929 knee slapping comedy. Now, I was a KJ fan before I saw this show, in addition to her as the ground breaking tranny alien in 3rd Rock from the Sun and her turn as Lexi Featherston in Sex and the City, the aging party girl who falls out a window....genius! I have also seen her in "Aunt Dan & Lemon," and "The Baltimore Waltz." The kids got theatre chops and is a member of the Atlantic Theatre Company!
Well after the show Ned, LB & I scurried off to Cowgirl Hall of Fame for some margaritas and chit-chat. Needless to say I gushed about Ms. Johnston, she seriously can turn a laugh with the smallest gesture or phrase. One of my favorite scenes is when her egomaniac character is so in love with her self well see below....
Ned turned to me after my analysis of her performance and said, "send me an email and I will forward it to her."
You see Ned and Kristen are sort of BFF's, I mean he spent Thanksgiving with her at her CT home. I mean COME ON!!! Could you just die?
After my initial draft to Ned to make sure it wasn't too "crazy" or over the top this is the correspondence that followed....
SO HELP ME YOU'RE WONDERFUL
Ned!!
Laura Beth and I just wanted to say again how much we enjoyed the show last night. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. You and Kristen have great chemistry & should work together again. I don't know how you look into her face every night as she assaults you with her amazing wit and not crack up laughing like a little girl.
I've see Kristen in a few shows over the years; The Baltimore Waltz, Aunt Dan & Lemon and she just gets better and better. She has such an amazing presence and can carve out the smallest bits of business to send you into stitches. There is no replacement for Bea Arthur in the canon of theater & television, but Kristen is making her way into finding her own spot on the list of funniest women EVER! Do let her know we are rooting for her, you and the company of "So Help Me God," I can't believe we had to go all the way back to '29 to find a smart, hilarious social comment comedy. hahah!
love your jelly!!
--
~brandy rowell
NED TO KRISTEN JOHNSTON
from my friends last night - read if you're ever having a bad day :)
KRISTEN JOHNSTON TO NED
UMM.
That made my fucking day.
Can she be the Times critic?
(I moved this email to "shit to look at when life sucks" box.)
PS She is the 3rd person in as many weeks to compare me with the late, great, muumuu wearing Ms Arthur.
Better than what I also sometimes get...."oh my god, I just LOVE your Jenny Craig commercials!!!!"
Kid you not.
Once a month, at least.
pps...I assume Brandy's a woman...or a drag name. But I gotta say, in my whole life, I've only heard the name "Bea Arthur" pass thru the lips of a gay boy. So it's throwing me.
------------
The fact that she thinks I am either a Drag Queen or a Gay Boy means I can die happy! Plus technically if for some reason she has her head "in the oven" my tiny email could save her life!!
A bunch of Broadway producers saw the show the final week I hope one of them has the good sense to invest in this jewel of a production. It would be a shame for it to go back into a desk drawer and not be done for another 80 years!!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
at a loss...
so much has happened since Thanksgiving that I shudder to try and write about all of it.
You see it's late. Late in the night almost morning. As I fancy my jelly to face an awkward brunch at noon, all I can think about is the love that will not be.
I am frustrated by her beauty. By her voice. By her energy that wraps me in silence and denial.
She is unattainable because I spoke too soon and with too much promise.
Regardless of my Catholic upbringing I am a sexual being that needs and craves attention. Both passive & aggressive.
I admit to being a creature of the night. I burst forth into this plain at 11:49pm and have never looked back. Least of all into the face of my birth mother.
I wish people could understand that being rejected at birth leaves a scar that has no depth or width, but it encompasses all of your being. Forever, you have questions. Forever, you wonder what made them give you life and not just chuck you in the bin of other mistakes and regrets? Why live through 9 months of me and then not love me enough to keep?
What money?? Position? All the rumors I have heard makes me think that I was meant to be "someone". The emptiness of that statement only makes me someones child. Maybe, someones sister, only I am the bastard. The one that brought shame upon the house with no name.
I was lucky, I got the best parents in the lottery of adoption. They gave me everything, believed in me when I did not, they were and are the only family I will ever know. I was lucky.
Yet still I have questions that haunt my dreams. Who is Mariea Marsden "Brandy" Rowell? My birth mother named me Cheryl. Clearly she didn't know me at all.
You see it's late. Late in the night almost morning. As I fancy my jelly to face an awkward brunch at noon, all I can think about is the love that will not be.
I am frustrated by her beauty. By her voice. By her energy that wraps me in silence and denial.
She is unattainable because I spoke too soon and with too much promise.
Regardless of my Catholic upbringing I am a sexual being that needs and craves attention. Both passive & aggressive.
I admit to being a creature of the night. I burst forth into this plain at 11:49pm and have never looked back. Least of all into the face of my birth mother.
I wish people could understand that being rejected at birth leaves a scar that has no depth or width, but it encompasses all of your being. Forever, you have questions. Forever, you wonder what made them give you life and not just chuck you in the bin of other mistakes and regrets? Why live through 9 months of me and then not love me enough to keep?
What money?? Position? All the rumors I have heard makes me think that I was meant to be "someone". The emptiness of that statement only makes me someones child. Maybe, someones sister, only I am the bastard. The one that brought shame upon the house with no name.
I was lucky, I got the best parents in the lottery of adoption. They gave me everything, believed in me when I did not, they were and are the only family I will ever know. I was lucky.
Yet still I have questions that haunt my dreams. Who is Mariea Marsden "Brandy" Rowell? My birth mother named me Cheryl. Clearly she didn't know me at all.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Burp...excuse me.
This Thanksgiving was one for the ages, a week long gorge fest instead of the usual one day of feasting. It started with Broadway Baby Thanksgiving Monday. All my theatre folks who had shows on Thursday got together in NJ to tie on the feed bag. Between the turkey & mash potatoes covered in gravy and the mac & cheese with pancetta I was one stuffed bird. Big thank you’s to Michelle & Tom who hosted a knee slapping meal in their grown-up bungalow, which I think is up for best freestanding treehouse in NJ!
Wednesday’s girl party at R Bar brought too much Blue Moon into my life and frankly too much annoying, loud, rude lesbian behavior usually expected of their frat boy counterparts. However, Poppi & Jessica shined on through their stand-up show in spite of the Sapphic sister diss, but I still haven’t recovered.
Which in part made for a bloaty Thanksgiving, I went up to Harlem to be with Ateh Ladies + Katie Thompson and the food was off the chain.
(Salad, how did salad get in there?)
Really Bridgette, Alexis, & Katie turned out some major flavor up in the hood.
(Bridgette & Katie making gravy so fast you can't see her!)
Neptune and I of course did what we do best; bring wine…oh and a pie.
(Neptune & Bridgette welcome to the Great Room!)
(The BEST Breasts EVER!!!!)
(MMMMMMM Beans!!)
(Not my first plate and Not my last....)
But after eating I started to feel icky, tired, and a little sad. So I excused myself and lumbered home with a bounty of food in a to go bag!
Later that night I was feeling a bit better, after a disco nap and some seltzer so I headed down 5 blocks to Jordan & Regan’s Potluck, again my southern bells turned out some major food from a tiny kitchen. Serving it all up beautifully on an ironing board buffet!!
(Homemade Southern Pies)
I had a nibble from their labor and was not disappointed. My friends can really cook which makes me so happy to return the favor at the treehouse from time to time.
Friday brought left over madness at Laura Beth’s hosted by Mother & Father Wells. Brisket, more mashed potatoes, turnips (don’t forget the turnips) cranberry sauce, you know the good kind with the lines from the can on it, plus more of the same yummy goodness expected at a ever turkey day except the turkey of course. Topped off with homemade stain glass candy; all were satisfied to the gills.
A marathon of eats and all in all a happy holiday filled with great people, food, wine and cheer. Plus a little plop-plop fizz-fizz for good measure!! Next year I might limit myself to just the one dinner. All that tryptophan nearly made my heart stop.
Wednesday’s girl party at R Bar brought too much Blue Moon into my life and frankly too much annoying, loud, rude lesbian behavior usually expected of their frat boy counterparts. However, Poppi & Jessica shined on through their stand-up show in spite of the Sapphic sister diss, but I still haven’t recovered.
Which in part made for a bloaty Thanksgiving, I went up to Harlem to be with Ateh Ladies + Katie Thompson and the food was off the chain.
(Salad, how did salad get in there?)
Really Bridgette, Alexis, & Katie turned out some major flavor up in the hood.
(Bridgette & Katie making gravy so fast you can't see her!)
Neptune and I of course did what we do best; bring wine…oh and a pie.
(Neptune & Bridgette welcome to the Great Room!)
(The BEST Breasts EVER!!!!)
(MMMMMMM Beans!!)
(Not my first plate and Not my last....)
But after eating I started to feel icky, tired, and a little sad. So I excused myself and lumbered home with a bounty of food in a to go bag!
Later that night I was feeling a bit better, after a disco nap and some seltzer so I headed down 5 blocks to Jordan & Regan’s Potluck, again my southern bells turned out some major food from a tiny kitchen. Serving it all up beautifully on an ironing board buffet!!
(Homemade Southern Pies)
I had a nibble from their labor and was not disappointed. My friends can really cook which makes me so happy to return the favor at the treehouse from time to time.
Friday brought left over madness at Laura Beth’s hosted by Mother & Father Wells. Brisket, more mashed potatoes, turnips (don’t forget the turnips) cranberry sauce, you know the good kind with the lines from the can on it, plus more of the same yummy goodness expected at a ever turkey day except the turkey of course. Topped off with homemade stain glass candy; all were satisfied to the gills.
A marathon of eats and all in all a happy holiday filled with great people, food, wine and cheer. Plus a little plop-plop fizz-fizz for good measure!! Next year I might limit myself to just the one dinner. All that tryptophan nearly made my heart stop.
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