An average day at Camp Wells started with reveille at 7:30 each morning. “Brrrraaannnddy,” would trip down the stairs jarring me from my slumber & calling me to a light breakfast. After starting our metabolisms we headed to the YMCA (in the South they still think the C stands for Christ, don’t tell anyone at the 92nd St.Y) where we burned the jelly and prayed for death at least for the first few days. Surprisingly muscle memory does kick in after the pain subsides. We’d come home, wash our bits and have lunch, then set out on the town in search of bargains and groceries.
On Tuesday you get an extra senior citizen 15% off at Kohl’s so we hit them up for bras. I got 9 new bras!!! After my old ones had been through the wringer literally, I had forgotten that a new bra feels like a hug that doesn’t end. Ahhhhhh happy ta-ta’s so good.
On Wednesday afternoons we pillaged Kroger’s on Senior Citizens Day getting an extra 10% off. Plus there were samples everywhere in the store, who needs to buy groceries? You can just eat until you’re full and go home. Plus I was shocked at how cheap everything is; you forget that there are some perks to living in suburbia.
We spent an afternoon at Hammer’s which is southern for Super White Trash Dollar Store. They have everything and anything: jelly in a jar for $1.29, rugs, farm equipment, & marked down clothing. I got 3 Ralph Lauren shirts for work for $2.88 each. Really? Not to mention my, “Got Jesus?” t-shirt, it was $3.88 you know because of the lord, he needed a tithe. Christians are everywhere in the south and it freaks my freak. We passed one church whose message board said, “Got Jesus? Stop, drop and roll won’t help you in hell.” Well I’m glad I got the t-shirt just in case.
In the late afternoons we’d head off to water aerobics at the Fulwider’s pool. For an hour we’d tread water, use water weights and I’d make jokes. Who knew I was even more hilarious partially submerged with a Lycra wedgie.
We also had a lady day to go and have our hair done at Mrs. Karen’s Hair Design, which is a home salon kinda like in Steel Magnolias only on mescaline. Karen wanted to call it Curled Up & Dyed, but the hubby put his foot down against it. Well, Mrs. Karen was a treat, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun getting my hairs cut and waxed. We laughed so hard I was sure one of us would take a scissor to an ear but we emerged unscathed and beautiful! Truly the best hair cut I’ve ever had….and the comedy I squeezed outta Mrs. Karen is going to make me a star darlin!!!
HAIR CUTS!!!
My favorite lunch time adventure we went to The Golden Girls Restaurant. Seriously this place was in K-Town way before there was a Blanche, Sophia, Rose or Dorothy. This log cabin of a shack which has been there since god was a boy, even though it is their second location, serves a “broasted” chicken, which is the most delicious “fried” chicken I’ve ever had in my young life and I’ve had my fair share of fried chicken just ask Col. Sanders. This was beyond!! Magic god fearing fairies must make this with tiny angelic wings. Plus the giant Velvis (Velvet Painting of Elvis) that greets you isn’t too be missed either.
We also went to Litton's with the Huskey's who I adore and am so glad they got a chance to see me again!!! hahaha
You know you're in the south when there's Mayo on the table next to the Splenda!
Then there was the evening we went out to see the Harding’s new house, dare I say Plantation. An enormous dwelling on the lake, the movie room alone made me want to move in, and I made it clear to them that I was still up for adoption. We took a little journey on the lake in their nifty boat, which suddenly I found myself driving.
I was scared to death but I do answer to Capt. B now, so permission to come abroad is granted!!
Camp Wells Head Counselor Vicki Wells, put together a party for us. Celebrating LB’s casting in Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark coming to Broadway this season. It was a great gathering of K-Town’s finest and we ate and rank ourselves silly. Plus I got a watch, from the amazing Sandy Rea, who also was kind enough to stitch my britches, god bless her heart!
We also pillaged her garden for tasty treats while she was out of town. We actually picked food out of the ground and ate it that very night. Fascinating!!
LB you should really wash that first....
The Wells Women have great glutes!!
Maybe I should try food styling for film & television, that looks good enough to eat.
14 days of Camp Wells seemed to fly by in two. We bought so much clothing, food & toys that we didn’t know if we were going to get it all back in the Ford Focus we drove down. Picking up the return car, Ms. Tammy at the Hertz rental desk was beyond friendly at 7:30am. We told her all about our trip and she suggested that they might have a mid-sized SUV available and would we like to go out and see if it would do. Why yes!! It will do just perfect thank-you Tammy. Did I also mention that Tammy got us the SUV for $63. Yeah that’s right renting a car in NYC is bull-sh*t!!!
Master packer LB stuffed all our crap into our carriage.
And off we went…..back to the Big Old City….
First Shift Navigator....
First Shift Driver....
12hours of open road!!!
At Camp Wells, I got my work out mojo back in swing!! (Thank you Mother Wells, YMCA & Gail’s Water Aerobic Palace) We ate amazing food. Laughed A LOT and I think it all mended my tired spirit. When I got back to work everyone loved the new hair & clothes, but mostly they said I was all lit up inside. Glowing. I’m a little glow worm, thanks for making me glimmer K-Town!! See ya’ll soon! Much love!!!
xoxo
