To say that I had a crap March is an understatement. It was as if the Ides were high on PCP and decided that with the help of the Furies they would take Samba lessons on my physical and mental state. It’s been a long 31 days till the fool of April brings hopeful and hardy release. Lately I’ve been feeling like that old theatre story about CATS. How two ladies who lunch are out and one has seen CATS and the other hasn’t. So in effort to enlighten her friend she describes the show as follows: (insert Long Island accent)
So, there’s this cat, she’s sick, well she’s dying. And all the other cats sing and dance around her to make her feel better. And then they put her in a tire and slam her through the ceiling. The End.
I’ve been slammed through the ceiling people, my greatest hope is that my equilibrium will return once I get to the Heavy Side Lair. Which I am sure will be any minute now.
Creatively I am thriving, I have many projects in the air at the moment and they seem to be the only things coming together in my life. I finished my play and submitted it to the Princess Grace Playwriting Grant, I have some stand-up shows coming up, I am developing a podcast with a friend that is going to be Hi-Larious.
Then the latest came to me while watching bad basement theatre yesterday with my friend Madeleine, who owes me big time for taking me to bad basement theatre. The set of the show was not unlike that famous or shall I say infamous picture of 5 dogs playing poker. It made me laugh so hard that I thought why not write a show in which 5 actors dressed as dogs play poker. Andrew Lloyd-Webber must have had a crap March too at some point, but I’m thinking I won’t slam one of my pooches through the ceiling. Maybe just a nice gang bang at a dog park will be dramatic enough.
A special shout out to everyone who’s kept me together this month!! You’re my invisible glue!!!
MWAH!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I am tired, are you?
You wanna put me in a box?
You wanna figure me out?
You wanna put me in your life, but keep me as far way from your daughters as possible?
I am not your friend. I am not your enemy. I am me.
Free. Alive. Numb. Through corporate brainwashing. Buy this spend that, only I know.
I know what is real. I know what I feel, you can't put that in your marketing price point.
Cuz man, I am free.
Cole, Noel, Allen, Eddie, Jack they all had the words and yet there is not a mouth for me.
i suckle at the tit of discontent and NO one has a word for me.
I have the tits.
I should have the power.
I don't.
Stop.
Rewind. Return back to a time that might hear me. Wait. No one will hear. No one wants to hear reason.
Why?
$$$$$
That's why.
Blink Blink is the cursor...daring me to say more. Do I dare? Do you?
Panic establishment, panic, for I am coming for you....we all are coming for you.
You wanna figure me out?
You wanna put me in your life, but keep me as far way from your daughters as possible?
I am not your friend. I am not your enemy. I am me.
Free. Alive. Numb. Through corporate brainwashing. Buy this spend that, only I know.
I know what is real. I know what I feel, you can't put that in your marketing price point.
Cuz man, I am free.
Cole, Noel, Allen, Eddie, Jack they all had the words and yet there is not a mouth for me.
i suckle at the tit of discontent and NO one has a word for me.
I have the tits.
I should have the power.
I don't.
Stop.
Rewind. Return back to a time that might hear me. Wait. No one will hear. No one wants to hear reason.
Why?
$$$$$
That's why.
Blink Blink is the cursor...daring me to say more. Do I dare? Do you?
Panic establishment, panic, for I am coming for you....we all are coming for you.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Women...
If you have to wonder about the beauty of women then you are a fool. The sexes have been battling for thousands of years and in the end the winner and still champ, at least in my eyes is the woman. Now, don't cut me off because I am a lesbian, but hear me out. I sympathize with men. Loving and figuring women out is NOT easy. If you think lesbians have a leg up in the situation think again. Because I have been turned around and surprised in so many different ways that sometime I feel as lost as my male counterparts.
I have been with many women. Not as an ego boost but as a fact, however the "one" still makes me crazy. I wish I could let go but I can't. As much as I push her away she seems to bounce back. It's not a healthy situation. But it's my situation. Since we broke up I have been with a few other women but nothing is as pure as when we spend time together. As smart as my head is my heart is twice as dumb. I lose myself in her smile, her casual touch. It will only lead to more sadness, I know this, I think to myself time and time again, "What are you doing!" She's made her choice and it is NOT you! Grow up, move on, and I have tried and unfortunately the one spark on the horizon turned into yet another, "Let's just be friends speech," a speech I just can't hear yet again.
Apparently I am the most AMAZING person that no one wants to sleep with. The title doesn't come with a trophy but it does have a lovely sentiment. Only you can't have a relationship with sentiment. I've tried and it only ends in tears. So what do I do? There's no way to be more lovely and amazing than I am. I guess I'm just that friend that everyone has who is always there, who always has an extra piece of themselves to give and some words of advice. But no one wants to "BE" with....I just hope that whatever I did in a past life was worth it. Cuz right now Sartre and I are in the same boat. Hell IS other people and death is the only release.
I have been with many women. Not as an ego boost but as a fact, however the "one" still makes me crazy. I wish I could let go but I can't. As much as I push her away she seems to bounce back. It's not a healthy situation. But it's my situation. Since we broke up I have been with a few other women but nothing is as pure as when we spend time together. As smart as my head is my heart is twice as dumb. I lose myself in her smile, her casual touch. It will only lead to more sadness, I know this, I think to myself time and time again, "What are you doing!" She's made her choice and it is NOT you! Grow up, move on, and I have tried and unfortunately the one spark on the horizon turned into yet another, "Let's just be friends speech," a speech I just can't hear yet again.
Apparently I am the most AMAZING person that no one wants to sleep with. The title doesn't come with a trophy but it does have a lovely sentiment. Only you can't have a relationship with sentiment. I've tried and it only ends in tears. So what do I do? There's no way to be more lovely and amazing than I am. I guess I'm just that friend that everyone has who is always there, who always has an extra piece of themselves to give and some words of advice. But no one wants to "BE" with....I just hope that whatever I did in a past life was worth it. Cuz right now Sartre and I are in the same boat. Hell IS other people and death is the only release.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Party's Over!
By accident in the early stages of summer last year my friend Megan and I discovered a treasure in the middle of the Eastside. The popular Blockheads Mexican Restaurant that speckles the city with venues had a little known weekly tradition, called Taco Tuesday. Every Tuesday you could get a chicken, beef or veggie taco and a shot of tequila for $3 dollars. Coupled with the already priced $3 Frozen Margaritas and Beer it was truly heaven on earth. In the months that followed groups of us would gather weekly to partake in the discounted cornucopia. I watched my universes mix & collide, seeing new friends being made through the salt rimmed hours spent surrounded by the trademarked Sock Monkey Mascots of Blockheads. I went so often that the wait staff would just smile at me and ask how many today? I wouldn’t even have to order because they already knew my usual. I was the Norm Petersen of 2nd Avenue between 51st & 50th Street, where everyone knew my name.
Then the winter came and our lust for frozen margaritas waned, people got shows and went out of town, and I stopped going for awhile. But the recent time jump has brought back the sun and I rallied a small band of troops to reconvene for our $3 Mexican hat dance. Only to find completely new waiters that had no idea of our devoted pilgrimages. We ordered the Tuesday special like always only to be met by a blank stare and a, “let me check to see if we do that?” My heart sank. Was it really over? Could the best deal in the city for starving artists gone the way of the Yugo? Yup. It’s over. We sighed and tried to still be happy over the $3 beverages that are a staple and consistent. We managed to still have a great time for time spent with friends is time well spent.
Closing the place down around 11:30pm we stumbled onto second avenue laughing and looking for cabs. I realized that have the best friends in the world. Who needs $3 tacos & shots?
Then the winter came and our lust for frozen margaritas waned, people got shows and went out of town, and I stopped going for awhile. But the recent time jump has brought back the sun and I rallied a small band of troops to reconvene for our $3 Mexican hat dance. Only to find completely new waiters that had no idea of our devoted pilgrimages. We ordered the Tuesday special like always only to be met by a blank stare and a, “let me check to see if we do that?” My heart sank. Was it really over? Could the best deal in the city for starving artists gone the way of the Yugo? Yup. It’s over. We sighed and tried to still be happy over the $3 beverages that are a staple and consistent. We managed to still have a great time for time spent with friends is time well spent.
Closing the place down around 11:30pm we stumbled onto second avenue laughing and looking for cabs. I realized that have the best friends in the world. Who needs $3 tacos & shots?
Monday, March 10, 2008
Seasonal Jumping!
Twice a year I feel the need to shift my apt.
Move furniture, clean and throw away the clutter that tends to build up like plaque in an artery. I have realized that this need usually falls when we change our clocks. Sun shifts and so must my bookshelf it seems.
Hi, my name is Brandy and I hold onto ridiculous things for no reason or rhyme. (You chiming in~ Hi, Brandy) I’m not a pack rat in the definition of the term, but I do surround myself with things that “mean” something to me. Whenever, someone comes to visit me in my magic tree house they inevitably say how comfortable they are, that it feels warm and homey. There’s always something fun to look at…I take great pride in those remarks. I always want my tiny kingdom to be one of entertainment, hospitality and refuge from the whirlwind city spinning around me.
However, it is that time of year and the urge to purge is reeling in my head and hands. Luckily, my baby leg is almost completely mended and I will be able to address some areas that desperately need tending. Dust bunnies aside the crap is creeping in and Kayla is searching for ample room to stretch. Also, I have a dear college friend coming into town this weekend, Ryan aka Chief Yellow Pants. So let the shifting being!!!
Shout out to follow blogger buddy Vinnie Costa, who shares my idea that spring cleaning can strike at any moment no need to wait! http://vinniecosta.com
He seems to be reading my mind, or maybe we share one. What we hold on to is a mystery, but I have resigned myself to clean and clear sweetie. Surfaces darling, surfaces I need to see table tops etc!!! However, the question of my Playbill collection rears its ugly head. Vinnie says I need to chuck them, my heart only sees many memories with you! Mr. Costa!!! :-) Damn those Playbills!!!!
Move furniture, clean and throw away the clutter that tends to build up like plaque in an artery. I have realized that this need usually falls when we change our clocks. Sun shifts and so must my bookshelf it seems.
Hi, my name is Brandy and I hold onto ridiculous things for no reason or rhyme. (You chiming in~ Hi, Brandy) I’m not a pack rat in the definition of the term, but I do surround myself with things that “mean” something to me. Whenever, someone comes to visit me in my magic tree house they inevitably say how comfortable they are, that it feels warm and homey. There’s always something fun to look at…I take great pride in those remarks. I always want my tiny kingdom to be one of entertainment, hospitality and refuge from the whirlwind city spinning around me.
However, it is that time of year and the urge to purge is reeling in my head and hands. Luckily, my baby leg is almost completely mended and I will be able to address some areas that desperately need tending. Dust bunnies aside the crap is creeping in and Kayla is searching for ample room to stretch. Also, I have a dear college friend coming into town this weekend, Ryan aka Chief Yellow Pants. So let the shifting being!!!
Shout out to follow blogger buddy Vinnie Costa, who shares my idea that spring cleaning can strike at any moment no need to wait! http://vinniecosta.com
He seems to be reading my mind, or maybe we share one. What we hold on to is a mystery, but I have resigned myself to clean and clear sweetie. Surfaces darling, surfaces I need to see table tops etc!!! However, the question of my Playbill collection rears its ugly head. Vinnie says I need to chuck them, my heart only sees many memories with you! Mr. Costa!!! :-) Damn those Playbills!!!!
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