One last time....

Before we say good-bye to the shit storm that was 2010, I thought I might pen one last blog.

Currently I'm a mess; broken in more places than usual. Baby Leg Part 1 which broke open again this morning "le sigh" surgery 2 looming in the future, scary thought. Baby Leg Part 2 still boot covered which has my lower back all out of whack & moving like a zombie eggplant; practically in tears most of the time. Wanting only to sleep, sleep away all that's not fixed, so much easier than actually repairing the damage which seems to be taking forever. My little light is oh so dim right now.

But it's the holidays which carry their own set of baggage, mostly missing the family of yesteryear. Wondering when the last egg of 2010 will drop, which would normally make me worry about the second coming of Christ, but my pagan lesbian status throws me clear of that designation. Then there is the loneliness of yet another count down with no kiss at the end. 40 on the horizon and no closer to finishing one of the 3 plays that haunt my imagination. I’m still stuck in a Jewbical with no apparent exit sign leading to the career of my liking.

Bitch, bitch, whine, & bitch should be the name of my law firm. So do we grab the boot straps and pull this eggplant above sea level and start again? I thought my jelly could see me through to the end of this ride, but the jar she is empty. I wonder if Walgreens carries magic jelly. Tinker Bell won’t take my calls. Maybe I should stop listening to Sara Bareilles, but it’s really not fair to blame her and her piano for my melancholic daze.

Maybe the next 3 days will show me which way to go, what path to take, there’s always room for miracles both large and small. Just have to keep your eyes peeled!! So here is to 2011 and figuring it all out, finding my way out from under this mountain of bullshit & remembering how to be happy. Hmmmm happy I think I can recall what that used to feel like; I used to keep it next to grateful and ecstatic.