Yesterday, my dear friend Madeleine gchatted me to say that she had just gotten a text from our friend Danielle that she was at the gym on the treadmill next to Madonna. Very cool indeed. I then told everyone surrounding my Jew cube and they said I should call Page Six. I was like why? They were like why not? I was content to enjoy the coolness factor of my beautiful friend Danielle sweating along side one of this centuries biggest icons. I joked with Madeleine about Page Six or perhaps emailing Perez Hilton. I then decided I would do the latter I mean really he’s in LA what could happen? Here’s what I wrote:
Subject: Madonna...
Working her jelly right now on a treadmill at the Reebok gym on Columbus on 67thin New York City….Esther sweats just like the rest of us!! Love you on Gay Pimping with Jonny McGovern!!! Work grrrl!!!
Off flew my second hand sighting to a website address in the black hole that is the internet. Less than 10 minutes later I receive this reply:
Hot!
xoxo
P
Clearly, Mr. Hiltons cousin through another mother (i.e.: Paris) lack of vocabulary skills is still heavy on his mind, but I did appreciate the xoxo. The story doesn’t end there….the chat continues….
Madeleine: brandy! did you tell Perez?? Spotted: Madonna working her jelly Tuesday afternoon on a treadmill at the Reebok gym on Columbus and 67th in New York City. Esther sweats just like the rest of us!!
he even uses the word jelly
me: OH MY GOD!!! That's what I wrote to him!! hahahahaha
am I in trouble?
Madeleine: no that's AMAZING i didn't realize it was that easy
me: Me either!!!
Madeleine: you are hilarious, as soon as i read it, i knew it had to be you, haha
In a 20minute span of time and through the use of 3 modes of technology I was able to alert a gossip hound of the exact whereabouts of Mrs. Richie. What was worse were the comments made by people to the listing on Perez’s site. Evil, vile, mean, nasty comments, a few nice ones, but mostly embittered computer freaks who hide behind there screens passing judgment on everyone. Frankly, I feel dirty. I feel like I have put negative karma into the universe for outing the athletically minded diva. Becoming part of the paparazzi and media frenzy over every little thing celebrities do has made me remorseful. Madonna, can you hear me, I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to spill the T and totally T. I promise to endeavor to keep my nose out of your business and continue to buy all your albums even though people say you’re over. You’re not over you’re just at the gym, which is where I need to be.
As for Brittany, Lindsay, Jamie, and Amy you’re on your own.
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