NUDITY

On screen nudity whether it be movies or television has never been something that “peaks” my interest. Usually it’s shot poorly and pulls me out of the story telling. The old James Bond films were teaming with sex but you never saw anything which left your imagination to wonder into all sorts of dirty little places laced with bad double entendres.

However, on stage nudity is something completely different. I enjoy the unbelievable strength and courage it takes to bare all in front of an audience. The Full Monty is a wonderful example, my friend who went with me to the show remarked, “I never thought I’d see you cheering for penises.” I wasn’t cheering for the penis, I was cheering for the beauty of those silly “real” men taking off their kits and even though obscured by the main title blaze stood in their all together in front of me unashamed.

Which brings me to last nights unveiling...A group of us went the Drag Queen Bingo and one of the games included a dare, if you got bingo you had to go back stage and come out only wearing this leopard scarf which was of a largish nature. For completing your assignment you would get 3 beer tickets and a special prize. The hosts warned if you yell bingo and come up here you have to do it. No backing out. So we all played with great trepidation. Wouldn’t you know it, I got Bingo. I turned quietly to Ned and said, “you wanna do it?” He looked at me as if I was insane and shook his head no. Luckily a few moments later a dainty man shot up with a BINGO!!!

He was a svelte, attractive man with a high gay sensibility, I’m not here to out anyone, but my gay-dar did beep. He grabbed the scarf and ran back stage in the interim we played a quick four corner game of Bingo and then it was time. Our bingo dare winner emerged from behind the curtain with the scarf wrapped beautifully around his head like a Norma Desmond turban. He was muscular and ripped with an endowment befitting a man of a greater stature, MUCH greater stature.

Proudly he stood smiling and enjoying the cheering crowd. Megan tried to take a picture and her 65yr old mother was like, “he’s not really naked???” We were at the bar and the crowd had thronged around to get a better look blocking the Florida seniors view. Ned was up on his chair with his mouth open. Megan turned to me and said, “What would it take for you to do that?” I said, “Your body.” I’d be naked at the drop of a hat let alone for 3 beer tickets if I was drawn like you.

This morning I was thinking about what Dr. Oz said on Oprah one afternoon. That the male penis is evolving past size ratios. In fact the size of the male penis today is abnormal due to the fact that women through natural selection are gravitating towards larger men. Gay men exacerbate this phenomenon though have no impact on the species. Therefore, technically our winner is a freak of nature, however I'm sure his choice of partners are NOT complaining. Just another night in New York ya’ll!!!