holes...

For he past 6 months I have had a hole in my left leg that will not heal. It swells, it bleeds, it oozes, but it doesn't compare to the hole in my heart, or soul really. It's a deficit, a lack of...hmmm good question. I have been trying to be an adult for awhile now. Masquerading as someone who thinks they have the answers but it's all smoke and mirrors. I have a razor sharp tongue and guts full of mush which means, I know where I want to go but don't have the stomach to get there. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Depends on who YOU are.

In spite of my dead relatives I do have a family. One of my own making, people who are AMAZING!!! Fortunately they think I am too. I am constantly surprised by the wealth I have, not in dollars mind you but I have invested in people. A commodity that most Wall Streeters over look. It is people after all that we deal with everyday. I am determined to believe that my wealth lies in how I am perceived.

Weather it be real or illusion. Mind you, I do not play games, I try to be as above board as anyone else however, let it be noted that effort in all things is highly underrated.

If nothing else I am true, blue and unshakable in how I treat said family. What I have is theirs for the asking and I hope this is vice versa. Even if it's not I live by this code and will not waver.

So what is this blog about, am I making a mission statement, am I trying to tell the people in my inner circle that I will be there for them no matter what, am I just trying to be endearing? Someone you can take home to Mom? I think it's D: All of the Above.

If you are lucky enough (and I say that with all humility) to fall into my circle of friends, know this, my love and support is without bounds or limits. If you ask, you will never be denied. This is my pledge and if you hurray you can still buy me a drink at the bar! :-)